Aternoon tea & fanatical fanfic

One-Shot : Ugly Got Gorgeous

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 13:27:44 GMT

Hello, I hope everyone on my f-list is doing formidably well. Thanks to anyone who's left me a comment/was kind enough to indulge me by answering my endless questions etc. lately, and please excuse how slowly I am answering and also the disorganized way I go about it ^^"". Apparently chronology is a thing in my past. When did that happen? Oh well, at least next year's still 2010, rite? Rite? ;p

Title : Ugly Got Gorgeous
Rated : NC-17
Summary : Inspired by flamesword 's prompt: a fic where Ryo just randomly decides that Kame is going to be His now that he's not the ugly duckling anymore, and Kame is completely taken by surprise and totally baffled by it, but Ryo is like, a FORCE OF NATURE and is pointless to resist, and Kame decides before long that he doesn't really want to anyway, but he is *stubborn* and tries really hard....It's an awesome prompt and I don't quite think I've managed it as well as it ought to have been at all, but I had tons of fun writing this anyway ^^. Which may be why it turned to
Genre : somewhatcrackysmutidek?
A/N: for flamesword . I hope this piece of ~~badly written but with so much love~~ boys love is able to keep RL at bay for some minutes ^_________________^ and also that RL gets into the Christmas spirit and gives you a well deserved break. I'm sorry, that made no sense ^^""". Just, ilu, take care, precious :-*.

Ryo is only seeking some harmless (okay maybe just a wee bit mean) (so what) (he’s Nishikido Ryo for fuck’s sake, read the fucking caption on the cap and just get over it already ) backstage fun when he finds the love of his life instead.

To say he is taken by surprise is totally understating it.

“Hello-ooo ugly.”

He drawls as he opens the door. Even as the syllables of his usual greeting to the ugly duckling he most likes to aggravate unfurl out of his smirking mouth, something tightens inside Ryo’s groin.

He stops himself from groaning out loud, just.

Fuck.

When did this happen? How come nobody (a.k.a Jin, really, since he’s his only link with the private side of the very public debacle that is K.A.T-T.U.N) ever tells him anything? Of importance, i.e. Because Jin tells him a lot of stuff he sure as hell doesn’t need to hear. But this? This is major news. Jin ought to have sent him a text, complete with attached pic, the second Kamenashi Kazuya got this...

This…

Kame turned his head when the door opened, he half-smiles at their established over the years coded salutation upon recognizing his visitor, lets out a little affected puff of smoke out of the corner of his cherry painted mouth, one drawn from his cigarette, the end of which his lips have apparently been thoughtlessly mistreating for a while as he stared at himself in the mirror.

Smoking hot.

Ryo is staring too.

“Hey gorgeous.” Smoking hot Kame replies good-naturedly and with a graceful gesture he arranges a stray strand of silky, honey hued hair behind his ear. The sheen of his dark nail polish has Ryo’s eyes following the gentle trail his fingers leave on the naked curve of that ear.

He bites down on his lower lip.

Kame’s always been a little affected, like he was constantly playing peeping Tom with himself from a corner of the room, casting a critical eye on everything he did, except, before he couldn’t quite carry his own fancy frills off, they always still looked a little over-rehearsed. Apparently all of the ridiculous rehearsing has paid off, finally, because here he is looking nothing if not natural.

Naturally gorgeous.

No way.

Okay, way.

Wow.

Something clicks inside of Ryo, or blooms maybe.

Whatever.

Everything makes sense to his senses suddenly.

Like this was what he’s been waiting impatiently for all this time, always making sure to drop in on Kame backstage on these occasions their bands performed in the same shows and acting mean to him in the meantime, yeah, it figured, that must be what the meantime was for, until at last he became this.

Yeah.

This is it.

This Kame’s his.

Ryo enters the dressing room for good and closes the door behind him quietly, shutting the world outside.

Turns the key inside the lock.

“You’re sitting down already. Great.” He rejoices.

This is going to go wonderful, as key moments in a man’s life should.

Kame arches perfect eyebrows at him and Ryo has an inkling he is going to be erect in a few seconds.

“Oh my God” Kame moans softly, which Ryo likes “what’s Jin done now?” He finishes and Ryo frowns at that.

“Jin? Nothing. That I know of.” Kame relaxes visibly. “No. This is good news. Believe me. You can’t not be thrilled.” Ryo didn’t exactly mean for that last part to sound grimly threatening but nevermind.

He bends over Kame and supports his frame on the arms of the chair.

It’s even pretty when the muscles in the boy’s throat ripple nervously like that.

Ryo is so looking forward to a lifetime of getting reactions out of this beauteous body.

And the future starts now.

“Why am I sort of queasily scared?” Kame ponders, to no one in particular it seems, so Ryo disregards the question in order to get to the nitty gritty.

“I love you.”

The object of his affection’s jaw drops, a small dip in all of his elegance, mouth hanging open in surprise.

Mmm. Ryo never really understood it before, the obvious appeal of his teeth to other people, but suddenly he gets it. Some teeth are almost magnets. As Kame’s are.

“Since when?”

Ryo sees no reason not to answer honestly to this, so he does.

“About three seconds ago, actually.”

This choked little sound escapes Kame.

Ryo has his arms firmly glued to those of the chair, because that was just about the only type of escape he’ll be tolerating here and now.

This somewhat captive Kame turns his head this way and that, throwing dubious glances in all the angles that won’t have his face brushing with Ryo’s. There aren’t many of those angles.

“Okay. Where’s the camera?”

“Kinky.” Ryo chuckles. “I’ve got one at home, but I was thinking we could start things off with slightly more regular stuff. Warm up a bit. You know. “

And he kisses Kame right then and there.

Why wait?

He’s waited fucking overtime for his one true love to get out of his fugly chrysalis already.

He has, he soon realizes with delight, grossly miscalculated.

This was never going to be a mere warm-up.

The kiss, Kame’s astonishment amusingly obvious at first and then vanishing into a whorl of mutual want fast, has the hairs on his arms standing up to attention.

Kame’s hooded eyes have this slightly glazed, shockingly erotic look when he pulls back.

His mouth, cherry lipstick a mess now, is moist.

“Oh fuck.” Ryo swears, his voice thick as he begins to roughly untie the belts of Kame’s splendid kimono unceremoniously. “I wish you would have hurried up and gotten gorgeous sooner.” He didn’t know hands could be hungry, like his are. “Nevermind. We can make up for lost time now.”

Kame’s eyes widen, which is a sight to behold, and then, with a lovely motion of his hand, he slaps Ryo across the cheek.

For all that he holds his wrists daintily, that hurts.

Not as much as Ryo toppling backwards and landing brutally on his tight buns, though.

“You… You jerk.” Kame says, hovering gracefully above. He sounds utterly out of breath. His chest is heaving, not quite with indignation, Ryo suspects, the tantalizing patch of ivory skin between the lapels grown yet more revealing because of the loosened belt around his tiny waist.

Taking into account the position he has landed himself in, Ryo probably should not be having this much fun.

But hey the view is nice from down here.

Are those nearly ephemeral rosy pearls nipples?

Also, it makes him pretty happy that Kame’s not just godamn gorgeous, but feisty with it.

He gets up and just his grin probably takes up about all of Kame’s personal space.

“FYI, I’m not remotely M. No can do there.” He says indulgently. “But yeah, other than that, I’m pretty much up for anything.”

He goes to kiss his boyfriend again but his boyfriend erupts into this bothered little uppity speech. Well its sounds uppity, but its contents are very nearly filthy, which, surely, ought not to arouse Ryo further?

“Okay. Okay I get it. So you wanna fuck. Sure. Why not. You don’t have to say you L.O.V.E me for me to spread my legs. Who told you I’m a romantic fool? It’s not true. Fine, let’s do the fuckbuddies thing, if you like.”

Ryo’s getting a little angry now.

It all seemed so beautifully simple to him a minute ago and, sheesh, it still totally is.

Why he has to find true love with a complicated, promiscuous (apparently), stubborn brat is a mystery to him, but undeniably, looking at Kame now, mouth smeared this cherry tinge, hair disheveled just so, cheeks hotly tinted by arousal/indignation, he’s The One.

And why he has to explain to the complicated, promiscuous (not for long), stubborn One how this thing between them is going to work is even more beyond him.

The sound system crackles to life then, specifically requesting all K8 members to gather for their number.

Cheerio.

“Okay, short and sweet, open your lovely ears, sweetheart. Listen.” He says, holding Kame’s deliciously sulky face in place with both his hands. “I love you. You’re mine. Exclusively.”

He really lavishly insists with the exclusive part.

No matter how becoming fake blood might look on Kame’s face, he doubts whether he wants real blood on his hands, which Ryo’s happy to use to his advantage.

“See you after the show.”

He kisses him hard and leaves him standing there in the middle of the dressing room, ravished, beautiful.

Baffled.

Ryo actually comes back after the finale.

He opens the door like before, without knocking, turns the key in the lock and leans back against the door, evaluating Kame, from head to toe, with his eyes.

Millions stare at him daily, and he’s fine with that, so it makes no sense to Kame why this should unnerve him.

But it does.

A little.

Ryo’s extremely sweaty and that’s way sexier than it sounds, than it should be, and he looks thirsty and ravenous all at once.

Kame’s taken off the kimono in the interval because he knows that garment on him is akin to an invitation to rape, it was designed to act that way and it certainly does its job efficiently enough, as Ryo has almost proven. And now that’s he’s wearing simple jeans and a buttoned up demure white shirt and looking, maybe not virginal, but at least decent, he’s pretty certain Ryo will get down extremely fast from whatever crazy cloud had him proclaiming his purported love for him in such an unexpected fashion earlier. Yes, in a second he will have reverted to comfortably calling him ugly as fuck.

Kame ignores that twinge of disappointment the thought stirs up inside of his proper, covered up chest.

Still, even if he’s a total bastard and all, he (mostly) likes Ryo, he’s always liked Ryo for some reason, so he tries to let him off the hook easily now.

“You know Ryo, not that I’m not flattered by the attention and everything, but, er, I’m taken. So. Yeah.” He babbles mendaciously.

Slowly, Ryo rolls his mean, lean body off the door and advances towards him. His lips curve into this grin and Kame’s toes curl. Ryo’s soon invading his personal space like whoa and clearly, he hasn’t changed his mind with Kame’s change of clothes. Ryo, Kame notes, doesn’t even ask by whom he is supposedly “taken”. It’s like nobody’s even worthy of being his rival or something. So it saves him the trouble of having to make up an imaginary boyfriend on the spot right here from scratch, but it’s kind of horridly annoying how high-handed the guy’s acting.

“So.” He shrugs like there are no problems, only solutions. “Break up with them.”

“Why would I do that?” Kame asks, trying to stand his ground, despite his ground being vicious quicksand apparently. His vocabulary seems to shrink the closer Ryo gets. Pity certain parts of his anatomy don’t do likewise.

“I want you.” Ryo says like that’s all the godamn problems in the world solved, then, thank him.

“Are you retarded?” Kame challenges somewhat squeakily. Well. As much as one can challenge when one’s mind is boggling.

Ryo’s slow grin spreads once more.

It wipes coherent thoughts in its wake, that grin.

“No no no.” His suitor explains. “You’ve got this all wrong, sweetheart. I’m the one that shows his affection through sarcasm in this relationship.”

“Oh, oh I see.” Kame says feebly. He does see. Ryo’s lips are impressively lush, plush, yummy from this close up. “So, what’s my means of expression, pray tell?”

“You” Ryo suggests, and Kame feels their breaths mingling “let your body do the talking.”

And it’s amazing how reasonable it sounds.

“Okay” Kame says, causing their lips to brush together. “Okay”.

He knees Ryo.

Kame receives a text on his day off, the better half of which he has not just languidly spent day-dreaming in bed about any specific sexy jerk of his acquaintance.

It’s from Jin.

HELP ME I MESSEDUPBAD says the message and it ends with the (mispelt) address of a fancy hotel downtown, complete with room number.

Reflex N°1.

Kame absolutely does not panic.

But he better dash there speedily because depending on how jinnily Jin has behaved, he might well have to end up saving the world from the shadows (again). Yeah. Or bandage Jin’s little finger.

Either way it’s okay, since he wasn’t doing anything important with his day, he reminds himself.

Blushing yourself silly alone in bed is definitely not all that interesting.

He still has to shower before he leaves, which delays him a little, but he gets there half an hour later.

Jin is looking like innocence itself, sitting almost obediently on the luxurious leather couch when he arrives.

To say this expression of innocence, more than the text, more than anything, has Kame wildly worried would be putting it mildly.

“Out with it” he says, keeping calm in appearance only.

“I’m sorry.” Jin whimpers miserably.

Kame sighs.

“What is it, this time? I promise I won’t shout.” Not until they get out of this hotel anyway.

But Jin just lowers his head.

Great. He wants Kame to play the guessing game. Actually, day-dreaming back in bed was way more fun, even if it’s a little undignified to do so about some specific sexy jerk.

“Is it drugs? No? What then, d’you get a girl pregnant with twins this time? Not it either? STD?” (He remembers to translate) “You, uh, itching anywhere? No? God Jin, you haven’t killed anyone have you?”

The glossy locks keep on shaking no lower and lower.

Kame starts to relax. Apparently, it isn’t all that bad.

Jin’s chin has reached his chest.

“It’s worse.” He whispers.

Kame, unconscious fool that he is, even laughs, since he’s eliminated all obvious causes for concern from the list. He rather thinks he might enjoy this. Jin in mistakenly tragic mode can actually be entertaining sometimes.

He sits down next to him.

Jin’s chin separates from his chest and he’s beseeching his friend with his eyes suddenly.

“I need to go to the loo” He says forlornly.

“It happens to the best of us, Jin.” Kame tries to reassure him, patting his shoulder, without cracking up.

“Forgive me first.” Jin’s very anxious about this.

“Er…”

“Just forgive me, okay.” He entreats.

“Okay. I forgive you.” Kame unwisely pronounces, as seriously as he can manage. He’s thinking maybe Jin had a mushroom party right here in this hotel room the night before and this is, like, little hallucinogenic relents of that, although, the room is impeccable. Actually, wow, there’s a table set over there and it… kinda looks like it’s awaiting a couple for a romantic date or something.

Kame is confused now.

But Jin, forgiven and all is on his way to the loo before he can query.

No.

Wait.

Jin is out the door.

What?

Kame scrambles to his feet to go after him.

Before he gets anywhere near the door, it opens again, Ryo steps inside and closes it behind him.

Apparently, this is a habit he has.

Kame thinks he needs to kick it.

In other, totally unrelated and uninteresting, news he looks fine.

He looks great.

Completely recovered from the painful way they parted last time.

Which, yeah, good for him.

Kame just stands there a second staring and then he snaps out of it. He doesn’t think Ryo’s gonna let him bail that easily, because he’s such a jerk like that.

So he opts to go sit on the couch again and turns the giant TV set on.

He switches to the baseball channel.

And ignores Ryo when he sits next to him. It’s a little difficult. It gets more difficult to do still when he pries the remote from his hand and turns the TV off altogether.

“Oh no you don’t, not on our first date.” Ryo issues firmly.

“Tricking me on a date? Seriously, Ryo, how pathetic is that?” He attempts scorn, but it is not his preferred domain of emotion. It comes out hardly convincing, he thinks.

Still, Ryo sulks suddenly, and his protruding lower lip in the dimly lit room proves to be Kame’s undoing more than some scathing retort.

Not that he jumps Ryo to suck on it at his leisure or anything.

Just, it mellows his resolve a little, and that little, it’s already way too much.

Ryo senses it, predator that he is. It’s not like he has any qualms about using his merciful nature to get into his pants, Kame’s sure.

“I know you like me.” Ryo states. Gee. Nishikido Ryo, ladies and gentlemen, the Secret Modest Man. Well, it’s Ryo. So.

“I like older women.” Kame fibs jadedly. Creepy tabloid rumours have got to come in handy sometime, he figures.

“Nothing that can’t be cured by a whopping dose of homosexual sex, I’m sure.” Ryo says wryly before, is he out of his mind?, putting his hand right on Kame’s crotch. What a psycho. Kame would fight for his chastity or at the least fidget, except he’s certain this would not be to his advantage just now. “See,” Ryo smirks as he knowledgeably palms his hardening organ through the denim fabric, “Already responding very well to treatment.”

Kame does something very mature.

He sticks his tongue out at Ryo.

Okay so he doesn’t quite have the bad grace to gasp in surprise when Ryo’s prompt to capture it between his teeth.

Besides, it’s not possible to gasp like this.

You’d think with his foul personality that Ryo’d be a foul kisser.

Not so.

“So, admitting we fuck, what then?” Kame breathes between kisses, a little desperate now, although he can’t identify what he’s desperate for at the moment, so many things, too many…

Ryo doesn’t have to pause to think about it. Come to think of it it’s like he always has a repartee ready for everything and this destabilizes Kame a lot and life is unfair (but it has its consolations).

“Then we do it again.”

“I can see you’ve put some thought into this.” Kame says with (very weak) humour. His voice wobbles but that’s a natural reaction, he supposes, to having the lobe of your ear sucked on. “Look. Hey. Sure I like you a little myself based solely on looks.” Ryo pulls back and grins at him from above. God, but the guy can look smug. “But that’s just not enough to build a…a..relationship like you claim to want. A relationship should be based on more…on…solid…stuff.”

“You want something solid.” Ryo tells him crudely. He pushes the length of himself against Kame, just right, this was what Kame was desperate for then, some kind of connection, and he arches mindlessly back.

It’s his day off, after all.

It’s probably okay if he takes the day off from thinking too.

And gets off.

Ryo, himself king of abrupt changes in points of view, clearly holds no quarrel with Kame’s new happy go lucky demeanor of the day.

He might look a little bit pleasantly surprised at least, Kame simmers mentally, grinding his hips irrepressibly against Ryo and feeling impossibly annoyed at the same time.

He feels like Ryo’s taking him for granted already and fuck, this is just sex okay, he hasn’t said he’ll be his boyfriend or anything else.

He can’t even speak just now.

Ryo’s fingers are undoing the buttons on his shirt, teasing under at each one that comes undone.

He tosses his head mindlessly, left to right means no, but not in this case okay, he’s all approval.

The last button pops open.

Ryo pauses.

“You’re beautiful as fuck.” He sounds almost emotional.

“You’re superficial as fuck.” Kame counters because he’s never known how to just gracefully accept a compliment already.

“Is that a Chanel shirt you’re wearing by any chance?”

Ryo inquires ironically. He is sort of gently laughing into his face, though, and suddenly Kame doesn’t really want to ruin it all and make it stark and angry.

He wiggles and gets rid of the shirt, it falls on the carpet.

“Nope.” He says to Ryo.

And then his fingers lace inside Ryo’s hair and suddenly they’re kissing, skin on skin.

It beats day-dreaming alone, and then some.

“I love you” Ryo insists huskily.

He’s nothing if not persistent.

He flicks at Kame’s nape with the tip of his tongue, a gentle lick and Kame wonders at the sweet sensation he feels in his belly at that.

He also marvels at the fact that his cock is lazily stiffening again below. It doesn’t seem possible that he can still get aroused.

It’s late afternoon or maybe early evening or maybe not.

He may or may not be Kamenashi Kazuya anymore.

More likely, he’s just mushy goo for Ryo’s hands to shape into pleasure.

"You only like my looks." Kame mumbles. He feels compelled to protest because of how entirely too cozy this has begun to feel.

“Hey.” Ryo bites at the side of his neck but if it’s meant to be punishing, it doesn’t work very well. “I always liked your personality.” He dances fingers up along his spine, sending tingles sprinting. The sweet melting sensation inside Kame’s belly amplifies. “I was just waiting for your looks to measure up, you know.”

Kame deep freezes.

Then in a second he thaws, scrambles out of the bed gathering whatever sheets and dignity he can around his stark naked self.

He is so fucked.

He can barely walk and now he needs to sashay.

Life : endless drama.

“You know it’s funny you should say that”, He declares. “Because, I, I’ve always rather liked your looks. It’s just too bad you need a personality overhaul. And you can bet your ass I shan’t be holding my breath for when it happens.”

He turns on his heels and exits in a sashay of silky sheets, like the slinky superstar he is.

“My personality is the bomb.” He hears Ryo sputter darkly to the empty room behind at large.

He feels just about ready to explode.

He comes as he swallows.

He just can’t fucking help it.

It’s Ryo’s fault for letting out that little high oh God good sound near the end.

It’s not that he’s superficial, unlike certain people, but fuck, this is the third pair of vintage jeans he’s ruined that way.

He licks Ryo clean for practical reasons that are unrelated to the way Ryo sighs with satisfaction when he does that, zips him up a little angrily and stands up in a spirit of defiance, although he’s still feeling dizzy from his own orgasm.

Ryo has that look in his eyes again, that tender, amused, besotted, crazy in love look that belongs on a boyfriend’s face. Except Kame can swallow a lot, as he’s proven countless times, but there’s no way he’s ever going to swallow Ryo proffering his love to him on the grounds he is so fond of citing.

You’re gorgeous.

He was, like, chanting it again just now.

Kame’s a Chanel whore and all but he is not that shallow.

Ryo opens his smiling mouth.

Hah!

Kame bets he knows what comes next, too.

He would have thought Ryo’d be more inventive with words, but some things he just keeps saying over and over and over again, like he won’t stop until Kame believes them to be true.

What a waste of saliva.

He wishes he wouldn’t.

He isn’t wavering, certainly not, but it wears him down some.

“Kame...”

“Don’t.” He warns glumly. He puts his index on his lover’s lips and then he thinks better of it and withdraws it. “Do not say it.”

“Okay. Have it your way.” Ryo’s eyes glint but he responds with uncharacteristic meekness - usually now they play out this scene where jerk here basically attempts to stuff his artificially flavoured love down Kame’s throat (figuratively, the literal part having been taken care of for now).

Good.

Kame just…He just doesn’t think he can take hearing that meaningless confession in that I-mean-it-stupid amused Osakan tone one more time. Seriously. He’s contemplating doing something radical like letting his eyebrows grow back again or something, not… Not to test Ryo’s so called love for him. He knows it’s going to fail that test, flat out.

Just to make it stop.

This Ryo rollercoaster.

He’s throwing his underwear and jeans into the laundry basket, cleaning the mess that he is up and pulling on new underwear and a pair of jeans he hopes is not too blatantly different from the one before, all at lightning speed, lest Ryo get any ideas to make this little interlude from the party he’s (supposed to be) hosting longer.

He checks his appearance in the mirror but meeting Ryo’s eyes in there distracts him.

He mustn’t have been quick enough.

The dark orbs are alight again.

Uh oh.

But:

“Let’s go back.” Ryo says simply and he is not oddly disappointed.

Repeat, not.

Yeah right.

And he’s only been ‘contemplating’ his guaranteed to succeed back-to-being-ugly strategy for two whole months.

Two months where he’s been paying consistently more and more attention to his grooming and shit.

Some might say he’s stalling.

This has got to stop.

Okay. Tonight. He’ll do it tonight. Ryo has declared he’s staying over after everyone leaves. Perfect opportunity to freak him out of his false eternal feelings by showing him Kamenashi Kazuya’s true visage.

The party hasn’t missed them, he doesn’t think.

He slips discreetly back on the couch and pretends not to notice when Ryo sits beside him and then proceeds to casually attach them surgically at the hip. And then he pretends not to notice everyone else noticing too. And then he’s horrified to realize that this doesn’t even make anybody snicker secretly anymore. Like it’s all normal or something. Like Ryo’s his official steady boyfriend that he’s crazy about, so of course they sneak away mid- mild party to go indulge in fellatio and stuff.

Ah!

Matsujun is smirking!

Kame beams almost gratefully at him.

“Sugar,” Matsujun simpers in the sort of meant-to-be-secretive shush that tends to prick everybody’s ears into listening and that’s exactly what it does here. “If you don’t mind me telling you…”

He hesitates coyly.

“No. What?” Kame has a really bad feeling about this. He is almost a 100% sure this isn’t going to concern the unfortunate organic beetroot juice he’s purchased for the party (at Maru’s request) or even Ran peeing on half the guests to welcome them.

Matsujun just gestures to the side of his own mouth, and oh my God Kame doesn’t even need to mirror the gesture to know.

Suddenly his chin is in Ryo’s hand and his face, redder than organic beetroot juice, is being lovingly turned sideways.

“I believe that’s mine” Ryo says and he doesn’t bother to shush, it’s like he’s positively proud and happy to be stamping Kame as his in front of a roomful of their kindly snickering friends. His tongue flicks out and the incomprehensible thing is that, with a single stroke of that possessive tongue, Kame sort of forgets to be furious, he even instinctively relents and leans towards Ryo a little to make it easier for him to reach.

Just for a second.

And during that second, there can be no doubt in anybody’s mind whose besotted boyfriend Kame is just at that moment.

Kame’s a mess.

An intentional mess.

Oh, he doesn’t have semen lingering at the corner of his mouth, no.

But he didn’t use his cleansing facial lotion in the shower or his moisturizer afterwards and his skin hates him now, he can feel it hating him. And he hasn’t combed his hair either.

He’s miserable.

He draws the line at not brushing his teeth though.

So he gets up from the edge of the bathtub where he was sitting staring at his toenails and resisting the urge to put just a teeny blob of almond oil on them to make them at least shine healthily since they’re so desiccated from how roughly he’s removed the elaborate motifs he’d lovingly painted on each one individually (that had taken ages) just last week.

Ryo said they were cute.

He hates Ryo.

It’ll be great when he’s gone.

He brushes and brushes and brushes his teeth, he likes them really clean, he is definitely not stalling further in order to not show his true visage to Ryo for one more minute.

And then the mountain comes to Mahomet.

Ryo enters the bathroom, suddenly he’s within Kame’s line of sight, yawning and scratching at his hair inside the frame of the mirror, and he is so not superficial but Ryo is simply the most gorgeous human being to ever exist so he thinks he can be excused for catching his breath just then and almost choking to death on toothpaste foam.

So now his skin his dehydrated and glaring red.

Which is great.

Everything is going according to plan.

Ryo is this close to running right out of the bathroom and out of his life.

Well. After he’s done patting him gently on the back apparently

“Let me guess,” Kame says in a raspy, slightly aggressive voice. He’s foaming at the mouth. “You forgot something really important back at your place.” He’s giving Ryo an out. Let this be over already.

“Yeah.” Ryo leans in and puts his chin on his shoulder and wraps his arms around his waist. “But you’ll let me borrow your toothbrush, right.” He murmurs coaxingly inside his ear. “I mean, you know exactly where my mouth’s been and that they were all pretty, sweet places.”

Kame turns around a little violently.

“Look at me!” His voice rises and he feels so glaringly red in the face and he is sputtering green, minty particles all over the place.

Ryo looks at him.

He puts a brown hand out and soothingly caresses Kame’s wild hair.

“In case you hadn’t noticed, I’m always looking at you.”

It’s true, he is.

He does that.

It gets embarrassing.

“Can you honestly claim to like what you see, right this second?” Kame screeches and the worst of it is, he doesn’t even care how hysterical he sounds.

“Oh yes.” Ryo replies. He sounds mightily amused.

Kame refrains from thrusting his dried out ugly toes in Ryo’s face to make sure Ryo understands to what extremes he has been driven here, hits him across the chest with the toothbrush because he just doesn’t know anymore and then kisses his mouth green.

“Okay then. Fuck it. I love you.” He spatters.

The corners of Ryo’s mouth twitch but he only takes the toothbrush from his hand like one would remove the knife from a demented person.

“About damn time you admitted it.”

He rinses the toothbrush leisurely under the tap.

Mr. Debonair.

Total anticlimax.

Like it was all so very obvious and he’s been sure all along. Really. So Kame fucking loves him but he’s still obnoxious as hell.

“I swear, you drive me up the wall” Kame murmurs at his back.

“Now there’s an idea.” Ryo replies with gusto.

And he does.

Literally.

Ryo’s very pleased with himself.

He’d pat himself on the back but his limbs are otherwise occupied right now.

The position is a little bit tricky but well worth the effort, now they’ve pulled it off.

Kame is hard put to it to be haughty or princessy pinned like this against the wall.

And his admission of a few minutes ago left him vulnerable, it seems.

He doesn’t even think to scratch or bite or slap or any of his usual pretenses of pseudo-dislike, those he is so anxious to exhibit usually.

He’s just holding on to Ryo for dear life.

It’s so adorable when he thrusts and Kame’s head of tangled locks bumps back against the wall and he squeezes his eyes shut so tight and his nose does this funny thing like he’s about to sneeze except Ryo knows damn well that’s not it. Really, Ryo thinks how he almost prefers it when his boyfriend’s looking this messy, yeah, not quite so well put together, he’s even sexier, he’s even more…

“You’re gorgeous.”

He kisses him, deep, but not long, because it breaks the rhythm and that rhythm needs to happen so bad right now, it’s absolutely unthinkable to not keep going until (Ryo knows this song by heart, it’s his all time favourite tune) Kame begins to hit those higher notes and, ultimately, his voice just breaks and his whole body is shaking against Ryo’s, like he’s so very scared and only Ryo can make him feel better, except Ryo will know for certain by then, he already has.

Best feeling ever.

Thinking of it makes him buck a little bit harder.

“I…I…ah” He’s getting there, notes escalating pitches clumsily “…I know.” Kame pants but it sounds like he’s totally forgotten what it is he knows. He comes, profusely, undone against Ryo, he’d be a puddle of come on the floor if Ryo wasn’t holding him so tight. Actually, Ryo’s probably hurting him, gripping his petite body this hard but he can’t control himself any longer. He orgasms inside of undone Kame, it seems to be happening for a wonderfully long time, yet he still wishes it would last longer, inside Kame is heavenly, he never wants to leave this place.

When he comes back to earth eventually, it’s to the sound of his own voice.

It’s saying, and it seems to have been repeating this nearly forever, because he sounds so hoarse:

“I love you. I love you Kame.”

His boyfriend interrupting his leitmotiv with lazy little random pecks must be what brought him to his senses.

For the first time he is interspersing words of his own in answer to Ryo’s irrepressible spiel:

“I know. I know.” Sometimes he has done this in the past, but the next part is new, improvised on the spot like all genius lines. “I love you too.”

Ryo loves this part right here.

Drabbley one-shot : Human Rites

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 15:26:37 GMT

Title : Human Rites
Rating : PG-15
Pairing : EntomologistinthemakingxAspiringActor, do you remember them, guys?
Summary : No, I'm not giving you the summary to a drabbley one-shot ^^! It's just to precise that this happens in the ever after of The Fisherman & The Princess of The Insects. It's not like it has mad plotting or anything, but I guess it's better if you've read the fic first :). I never thought to write any more in that universe again, but I must have been missing it, because basically my fingers started typing it of their own volition. I was really happy to be there again for a while ^^.
A/N : This is for Ma Petite Zumi. Happy omg terribly belated birthday, oh you epitome of fierce adorability ^^. I totally love who you are <333.

"Put it in."

Ryo ordered.

"Now?" Kame asked hesitantly and intently at once, as anxious and determined to get this right as every other human rite Ryo had introduced him to so far.

"Now." Ryo pronounced. There was a faint tremor in his voice but it wasn't uncertainty. He sounded sure. It might be more a tremor of anticipation.

And thus Kame complied with his usual eagerness to please, but proceeding carefully nevertheless.

It was such a sensitive part of human, and indeed, of insect anatomy as Kame knew very well himself, so of course he couldn't help but be scared he would somehow hurt Ryo performing the intimate act, perforating something or..or...or...

He paused, trying not to tremble, trying to remain assured as Ryo issued such a sigh, Kame felt sure it must have resulted in a tsunami, somewhere, in some other part of the world, in accordance to this butterfly effect theory his fiancé had taken great pains to explain to him last night because he had elected it as the subject of his third year thesis in entomology.

Ryo's eyes had shut down, depriving Kame of the near telepathic guidance his beloved usually dispensed him through their sheer intensity, and the skin at the downward corners creased a little, the usually smooth lids prey to a thousand minute pulsations which had the rows of his long, soft, sable lashes brushing together in an erratic ballet.

Kame couldn't help but to hear it all, the strange arythmic music produced by the friction, and that instantly caused his own breathing to accelerate, which resulted in turn in the sources of sound from Ryo's and his own body mixing intimately within his eardrums, the noise nearly deafening his other senses for a second there.

He panicked a little.

"Am I doing this right, Ryo?"

He tried to ascertain worriedly before he went any further.

"Yes," Ryo murmured impatiently without opening his eyes, " that's fine. Only don't stop."

"Okay. Sorry."

Although not altogether reassured, Kame continued then, venturing on, probing a little deeper.

Ryo's second sigh morphed into a moan but obediently, Kame didn't stop.

Ryo's moaning didn't either.

On the contrary, it amplified.

This must be normal, Kame thought, trying not to be overwhelmed by the waves of sound, to not let how flustered he was beginning to feel too, at the additional sight of Ryo's teeth biting into the flesh of his own lower lip affect his slow, measured movements.

Since Ryo clearly didn't want to be interrupted from moaning, he desperately tried to remember what instructions had been given him before he put it in.

It was terribly hard to think, but, ah, he rather thought he ought to withdraw about now, but he wasn't entirely sure, he had an inkling Ryo might think it was still too soon, from the way the pitch of his voice was reaching yet higher, everytime he stroked this place deep inside, apparently, yes definitely, this place.

Anyway, but, oh, the sounds Ryo was making by now were really making him feel too flustered for him to keep up a steady rhythm. Ryo's voice was far from the familiar honeyed grain Kame loved so much, instead it was this white hot nectar pouring into Kame's ear, intoxicating his brain in broken spells, insterspersed with burning breaths, any original meaning incoherent so it was impossible for him to discern whether the words meant yes or no or stop. It made Kame vibrate, and surely vibrating whilst doing this was dangerous, he thought wildly. It was all getting unpredictable and uncontrollable and... and... and...

His princess training had never prepared him for such a thing.

He coudn't anymore.

Kame withdrew.

He was experiencing a state he was now able to identify as thoroughly human.

But as to whether he had done the right thing or the wrong thing by human standards for this particular strange rite, he must now await Ryo's verdict.

So he awaited anxiously, still vibrating, still all humanly muddled in body and mind.

After a few seconds had elapsed, Ryo's dark lashes parted, rustling like silk, to reveal eyes afire, open wide and staring up at him, somewhat unfocused at first but not, as he had feared, angry.

Not at all.

His lips, the lower one swollen now, as though bee-stung, lazily formed one of those spectacular grins which never failed to make Kame feel sunkissed inside, as his eyes came into focus on his face.

And Kame knew he mustn't have done so bad after all.

He hadn't sucked.

Still, he wanted to hear it from Ryo's grinning mouth.

"How was it?" He asked his lover diffidently.

His lover stretched his brown limbs languidly, all relaxed and Kame wondered if it was entirely normal for him to be feeling this taut in the aftermath, then.

"Well, you need to do the other one before I can say anything definite. And after that you'll have to practise pretty regularly anyhow. "

Kame felt his own expectant expression turn to one of self-disappointment. Since he was no longer princess of the insects, he was all out of practice with keeping his emotions under control and, indeed, Ryo was always encouraging him to be more and more expressive.

The result being that Ryo read his face ever more easily.

Like now

A brown thumb shot up, instantly, to stroke the bump on Kame's nose.

"But I can already tell," Ryo hastened to add, his voice not quite back to normal, some traces of nectar lingering in the honey, "you're a natural at ear-picking."

Kame understood a smile must have adorned his face from the look on Ryo's.

Teasing had melted into tenderness.

He had been practising smiling so much, sometimes he did it without having to make any effort now, it came naturally to him, almost like he were really human.

He was getting there, after all.

It made him happy.

Ryo's thumb trailed down to his still smiling mouth in a mellow movement, and descended lower, fingertips grazing his throat, that tickled, until his hand curled inside the T-Shirt he was wearing, pulling.

Clearly the other ear could wait to be picked.

There were even more primordial human rites to attend to before.

Kame responded by instinct, easily, doing the most human thing he could think of.

Happy Belated Halloween!

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 17:50:44 GMT

Dear Ryo-chan,

Aren't you a little old to be browsing the web on your birthday, compulsively checking some random fansite that has you cavorting with omg Kamenashi Kazuya in all sorts of improbable situations to see if they're going to have fic where omg Kame bursts out naked (or at the very least one third kimonoed) from some three storeyed cake the crazy author says you ~~pre-ordered~~ mentioned in passing to Pi, one especially with space inside ( a sexy Kame sized space) for some pseudo-surprise birthday bash your friends are supposedly throwing you tonight (when all you wanna do is surf the web to fulfill your RyoKame addiction, argh) (I know, sucky, sucky author)?

I don't think so ^^.

Hopefully you'll never be too old for this sort of thing. And btw, I'll thank you not to expect such clichéed happenings at this LJ okay.

Since you're here, allow me to wish you a manically happy birthday for real. I love you more than last year and that's, like, impossible. Although I wish you the best of life, on your own terms and your Sexy Osakan way, I don't know what the year has in store for you, Ryo. I can only predict that, if you keep on pulling uke faces and poses all the time, I'll love you even more this time next year. But that's, like, not possible, right?

Please keep proving me wrong all the time.

I love, love you (I do)

Ana

Happy Birthday, Bebeh <3

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 19:23:57 GMT

HAPPY BIRTHDAY sevenswells!

Look! ~~A crappy present omg I'm sorry.~~ I made a GacktxMiyavi fanvid, but it's not just any old GacktxMiyavi fanvid ne. It is ~~supposed to be~~ a fanvid for your fic Hoshi no Suna, set to the song which gave its name to chapter 4, Heart in a Cage.

EDIT: I really recommend downloading this to watch if possible- YouTube just won't run it as smoothly as it's meant to run, probably because I apparently edited this in a bout of epilepsy ^^"""""""".

download (medium sized) download (small sized)

Of course, I couldn't even really stick to the narrative or anything, since I suck, but I tried to express the spirit of it a little. Sure, I failed. BUT I LOVE YOU, ANAWAY.

Prease to have indecent amounts of fun and celebrate the extraordinary occasion of your birth in style <333.

Love

Ana

One-shot : Not too drunk to have an infinite expectation of the dawn

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 19:51:04 GMT

One-shot : Not too drunk to have an infinite expectation of the dawn
Warnings : Mature Ryo ~~lol~~. Undefined booze. Voluntarily unclear timeline. ~~Or maybe I just added 'voluntarily' at the very end after realizing what a mess it is, it's a mess ^^""".~~
Rating: PG-15ish, if even that.
Disclaimer: Everyone, especially moi, already knows I don't own Kame or Ryo. But probably fewer people are aware that I also don't own Yoda or Luke Skywalker. So I'd just thought I'd make that clear here :).
A/N : Thank you so very much to everyone who expressed concern over my (not even particularly droll!)recent antics and who wished me well ^__^. Your kind words totally made my world a better place <333 *hugsies of monster love*. ayuzak and gummykid I *cross my fingers especially in the hope you girls find parts of this muddle entertaining. ILU very much :-*.

This is not what he'd expected.

Which is when Kame realizes he has subconsciously been entertaining expectations all these years.

About what it would be like.

To be with Ryo.

Like this.

Except...

Not quite like this, no.

The renewed pricks of surprise from deep within his psyche at every little thing happening differently than anticipated are what keep indicating to him what it was he had been expecting, as though he's only had the negative image all these years in some back corner of his head and now the positive is being revealed before his eyes, all the slow winded way to the bedroom.

See, they wouldn't even have waited until they got to the bedroom.

Ryo would have been completely plastered, as the result of a ploy Kame would have had to pull, something coy. Not a spiked drink, come on, of course not. He only considered that three seconds, once, when he was very drunk himself. No, just, maybe, many many many drinks downed almost unnoticed while in parallel Kame gently flattered Ryo's ego into enough oblivion to have a chance of getting him inside his apartment in the first place. Yes, he'd thought he might entice Ryo - but only if Ryo was not quite himself. Unfortunately. Because he'd rather have had a 100% Ryo, absolutely all of him. But Kame could never help irritatingly realistic notions like that from shaping his fantasies.

It had all been sheer fantasizing, of course, Christ.

Because he had not been plotting ok.

He hadn't even known.

How truly much he wanted this.

But Ryo isn't remotely drunk now.

If anybody's feeling a little tipsy, it's Kame. But fuck, it was flustering earlier, sitting there across sober, cocksure, mature Ryo, negligently cradling that first beer he never even finished whilst he actually spoke to Kame, eyes warm and intent on his responses as he questioned him, not even just some surface questioning.

It sounded like soul searching.

Hah!

What did he expect?

Of course Kame bored him out of his mind going on and on about baseball.

His spiel became more desperate as he elongated it and he downed more alcohol and he kept wondering when Ryo was going to not bother even making an excuse and leave him here alone, imbibed, in the too cramped-for-two booth.

He kept wondering.

Ryo was all ears.

No.

Not all.

Ryo's eyes amounted to a great deal of his person too, dark and devouring, on him.

He wished! Kame had thought a little sourly, fidgeting on his seat in an attempt to weight his slightly elating thoughts down and failing because his knees brushed against Ryo's under the table, whoa, his thoughts soared.

But now his wish was coming true.

Almost.

Because Ryo hadn't quite gotten carnivorous at this point in his kitchen.

He was taking all this maddening time, caressing Kame's face with his fingertips like it was really very important that he do so and not miss a centimeter of his skin anywhere, his hot uneven breath taking ages to get closer inducing such small shivers, if there hadn't been such a number of them, Kame might have thought he was imagining the sensation. And when his face finally grazed his, he was pecking at Kame's lips, gently, asking for permission first, and for some reason, instead of becoming impatient, Kame felt himself melting with want at the too little touches, he was so melted putting his hand up like he wanted to, to grab Ryo's collar and pull him near was an impossibility.

Then Ryo was pulling back.

God not now.

Why hadn't he split earlier then?

It wasn't like Kame hadn't presented him with multiple opportunities.

For instance, when Kame began to expose his theories on UFOs in some sort of ultimate attempt at stopping his evening long eulogy of baseball spilling out of his own nervous mouth, he felt so sure inside, he was fucked.

And not in the sense he had hoped to be when Ryo bumped into him earlier still and pleasantly, easily suggested a drink, an encounter of the first kind: their first time actually alone, face to face, as adults.

Part of Kame's always been a wise withered old man, his own inner Yoda to his own outer Luke Skywalker. But it's a recent thing with Ryo, the grown up aura he's acquired. He's changed lately. He hasn't just grown, it isn't just his body stretching out into more beauty. He's evolved. He's matured for real.

It had Kame speculating, between glances stolen at him when his eyes weren't safely drowning in the bottom of his glass, on how Ryo will age even further along, beyond the closed capsule in time that Jyannis pretends to be.

Ryo will age beautifully, he had concluded almost immediately.

Like wine, Ryo will only get better with the passage of time, essentially the same only a mite more mellow, a shade sweeter, a thought more subtle with every year. Although it wasn't like Kame wouldn't have drunk of him even then and there, right away, why wait, huh? Kame's thirst in the pub had seemed to border on the unquenchable.

And now in his kitchen, he peeps again and again, between the dull dives his eyes take into the black apparently bottomless bottom of his coffee cup, forget the future, Ryo's making him hungry now, the crisp white of one of these stylish shirts he's taken to wearing contrasting against his firm brown skin under the neon light.

But he didn't want Kame to quench his thirst earlier, so he probably won't want Kame satiating his appetite now, even though, maybe even especially not, since he initiated it.

"I think you've had enough tonight. Anymore and you'll be too drunk." Ryo had said in the pub finally, interrupting his confession of having had a crush on E.T. He had been completely E.Terosexual during a portion of his childhood, yep, but Ryo didn't care.

To be fair, Kame wasn't really listening to him either by then.

He was watching Ryo's fingers splayed over his own, to prevent him taking another gulp, he supposed.

Ryo's fingers, they're long, but not spindly like E.T's, they're shapelier and also, maybe because they were linking a little with Kame's then, it sorta seemed like he had more fingers than anybody else Kame had ever known.

Wow.

Ryo would certainly have thought it weird had he been to take out his cell phone with his other hand and immortalize this instant for all eternity.

It was ok though. Kame knew he'd remember. Ryo might have thought he was on the brink of alcohol induced coma but he wasn't, if only Ryo knew, how much Kame can intake and still stand, Kame was merely slightly tipsy.

And see, Kame still remembers and it's all of several hours later now.

He thinks.

Back there, Ryo gently removed the glass from his grasp, thus taking his own hand away too.

And here it's like he simply dreamed of his soft fingers on his face some seconds ago. Ryo's hands are wrapped around his own coffee cup now, as though for warmth. Kame's eyes attempt to focus on them, but, as he begins to count the fingers, everything gets muddled almost immediately because Ryo composedly raises the cup to his lips and has a sip of hot beverage.

The simple action upsets Kame a little, unmelts him, makes him a little angry.

"Shall we go?" Ryo was the one to say it, in the pub. It was the most tense he'd sounded all evening. He must, Kame had thought, be beginning to really regret offering to drink with Kame. He must not have believed all those rumours going around as to how Kame's a remake of Abyss when it comes to booze, a boring abyss, which was nice of him, giving him the benefit of the doubt, but after this session in this pub he knew for a fact, abyss it was, and he was going home.

And Kame hadn't even given in to the fleeting temptation he had had, of acting petulant and declaring Ryo could go on, he would stay and drink the night away! That would have been no way of thanking Ryo for..

For what?

For nicely allowing him to come to terms with the fact that they would never fuck.

All unbeknownst to him, but still.

Kame had nodded and gotten up meekly.

They had gotten their coats and Ryo had half helped him into his before Kame was struck by surprise at the galant gesture.

Just how drunk had Ryo thought he was to do such a thing?

Whatever, Kame'd let it go and enjoyed the feel of Ryo's innumerable fingers closing the lapels on his chest, tying the belt around his waist, tried to commit it to memory too, another invisible snapshot, a little series of invisible snapshots even, since Ryo tucked and fiddled endlessly.

"You got your car?"

He had had to answer.

"I came by taxi." His cheeks must have reddened. Okay, it was out, he had completely planned on getting hopelessly plastered tonight. Like that much hadn't been obvious before.

"So did I." They were in the corridor of the club. "Since I can't drive nowadays." They were out the door. "It's a drag, I don't mind telling you." Ryo was saying wryly and wrinkling his nose a bit, looking youngish again, a tad less mature. They were on the pavement. The air was cool outside, good, maybe it could clear Kame's head and he could figure out a way to retain Ryo a little longer, just a few minutes more, even one more minute.

Kame remembers crumpling his forehead then, trying to let his inner Yoda shine through. What would Jin have done? Vomit on Ryo? Or simply demand Ryo keep him company cos' he was hella lonely and he didn't wanna be lonely, more likely. His inner Yoda disapproved vehemently, though, of both. His inner Yoda was a clean freak doubled by an emotional coward. His outer Luke Skywalker was no fucking use either. He stared at Ryo's apple of Adam and found it insanely attractive. His outer Luke Skywalker was so gay.

Kame had sighed.

The sound had come out really loud in the deserted street.

Shoot.

Ryo had grinned at him, woohoo, he had more teeth than fingers, begun to say something and then stopped to hail the cab which had just turned the corner.

Next thing Kame knew, they were both in it.

Okay.

It had seemed silly not to share one, after all.

"Your address?" The cab driver had asked laconically.

Ryo was looking out the window.

Kame'd given his address.

Ryo said nothing.

Kame's place was quite near, so he supposed it made sense to drop him off first but, suddenly, he'd been overwrought with worries that Ryo must have had it up to here by then with his unexciting self. He didn't want to prolong this awkward encounter a second more. He wished the cab would hurry already, so Ryo could be rid of him and he could be rid of his ridiculous hopes.

They arrived at his place an eternity later.

He'd stumbled out precipitately, barely remembering about his share of the fare and started browsing around his Burberry bag a bit frantically. Next thing he knew, Ryo'd paid the fare, gotten out and was watching the cab stroll away leisurely from where he stood on the pavement beside him. Unless Ryo had moved into the apartment next to his or something that afternoon without mentioning it to him, Ryo had just invited himself at Kame's. His inner Yoda was having a heart attack. His outer Luke Skywalker was noticing that Ryo's apple of Adam was sexy from this angle too.

"Geez it's freezing." Ryo rubbed his hands together and hopped from one foot to the other. His current curly fringe flopped. "I wouldn't mind some coffee."

Kame ignored Yoda's writhing and Luke's ogling and drew, in desperation, upon that set of manners he polishes beautifully every time he has a spare minute for occasions such as this. Occasions where all else fails him.

"Of course. I shall have several cups myself. The entrance is this way."

Ryo ought to have slammed Kame against the door, according to his subconscious expectations.

But he shut it behind them, not especially gently, no, but the neighbours probably wouldn't bother having a petition to complain. And then, after he'd disposed of his shoes, he walked straight into the living room and began examining Kame's books on the library shelves there.

The couch's in there, too, of course.

It's comfortable.

Kame should know.

Ryo looked over his shoulder.

"Coffee?" He reminded him with a charming grin.

"Oh yes. Coffee. I'm onto it." Kame tugged violently at Luke Skywalker who wouldn't mind staying right where he was admiring Ryo's naked feet his fill but that coffee wasn't going to make itself and Yoda wouldn't be any help, he had yet to recover from the unexpected turn of events, really, Ryo had no consideration for inner millennia old little men.

He retreated to the kitchen with his useless inner and outer companions.

Coffee must have made itself after all, because Kame doesn't remember making it.

It's just fuming from the cups now.

Kame's fuming a little too.

"I know what you think." He hears himself say to Ryo defiantly.

Yoda must have really died, because Kame's about to say stuff he would never have said otherwise. Unwise stuff.

Ryo puts his cup down.

"Really?" He sounds genuinely interested. When did he turn into such a great listener?

"I'm not too drunk to fuck."

His face.

Haha. Here it is. Ryo's going to deny everything, all the sexual tension, everything.

He's gonna look like a fucking fool, he already does, but it's gonna be okay, he'll say it wasn't him, he can blame the shock of Yoda's death, he can blame Luke Skywalker's raging hormones, better still he'll say, he'll say this has been the alcohol talking a load of shit.

He can do a Sleeping Imbibed Beauty act and pretend to have forgotten the evening altogether tomorrow.

Sounds like a plan.

Quick, Kame pretends to pass out on the table.

Ryo's incalculable fingers are brushing his hair off his forehead, tenderly, and Kame begins to wonder whether he's grossly miscalculated something just now in his utter panic.

Ryo caresses his nose.

Okay.

He has.

Miscalculated.

Fuck.

He wanted to, too, then.

Now.

How to fix this mess?

Is that even possible?

Kame's mind is frenetically fishing around for some nonchalant way to wake up from his faux alcoholic limbo with a minimum of ridicule so they can resume their interaction which, if he hadn't been so stupid, might have already turned into foreplay now, fuck, fuck, fuck, why.

Why.

He feels Ryo's arms hoist him up, Ryo's picking him up like a fucking princess, no kidding, and here he is supposed not to be feeling a thing.

If Ryo even breathes anything about the extraweight he's been putting on, though, he will drag himself from the depth of his purported alcoholic stupor and punch out some of his teeth, he has too many anyway, everybody has a little something extra.

But Ryo carries him silently.

Sorta sweetly.

He resists burying his face into Ryo's shoulder and lets his limbs flop lifelessly about.

He even drools a little, although way less than Leonardo Di Caprio in every other scene of Basketball Diaries, he doesn't need a Golden Globe, just to be a little bit believable so as to retain a smattering of pride in Ryo's eyes, eventually, when he dares to open his again.

He hears a gentle chuckle.

He is on his own bed, untouched, by his own fault, fuck, he could cry.

If he wasn't oh so oblivious to the world of course.

"So I finally grow up and you get all retarded teenager on me?" The voice teases softly, a little regretfully.

Kame opens one outraged eye.

It alights on Ryo's amused smile. But then it's the air of exaggerated adult patience, such an air as he's never seen on Ryo before, which cracks him up into a terrific case of the giggles.

Ryo's on him in a second, limbs locking his, like Kame needs containment or else he'll explode with all this laughter.

"I dunno about too drunk too fuck." He's saying slightly desperately. "It's more like you're too excitably childish too fuck."

Kame earnestly wants to deny this, to instantly smooth his face into a sultry expression, one which explicitly spells sex.

He can't, however, his face is having a lol festival, so he grabs Ryo's collar and brings his face close, contact ought to do the trick. Ryo does not resist, indeed he instinctively completes the movement by leaning in, and it occurs to Kame how Ryo must have a ton of expectations of his own and how probably he's not meeting a single one, but not only is he incapable of stopping the giggling, he's hiccuping too, now, for Christ's sake. Which makes Ryo's attempts at kissing him awkward to say the least.

Which only renews Kame's giggles.

Kame can't remember the last time he laughed this hard.

Ryo lets out this long suffering sigh.

It's humorous, though.

Kame doubles up on the bed.

Ryo dons that air of exaggerated patience again and levels up on his elbows - to begin getting up?

No.

Kame doesn't want him to go.

This is the most fun he's had in ages.

He wraps his legs around Ryo's waist playfully and then he's reached up again and he's kissing Ryo rather sloppily.

He feels giddy.

Ryo is detaching himself from the embrace, however, gently but firmly.

Kame whimpers incoherent protests because he can't seem to find his polished manners anywhere on the bed.

Apparently they get his point across fine.

He'd have chucked niceties years ago, if he had known.

"Hey. I obviously want you too." Ryo's wincing admission makes Kame happy. He wiggles happily. Just to let Ryo know where he's at. This low, uncontrolled, not so mature groan escapes Ryo's throat. He tries to immobilize Kame's hips, succeeds in part, swallows before he can go on. He stares down at Kame's mirthful face. Kame vaguely gets it that there's something Ryo wants to impress upon him. Other than his erection. "But I figure, we've waited all this time already, we might as well wait a while longer."

What?

Kame is stupefied.

Neither manners nor whimpers are gonna cut it to convey what he feels.

He wonders what can.

Who, as it turns out.

Luke Skywalker asks it, agog.

"Whatever the fuck for?"

Kame's mouth is an o, both at what Ryo's just formulated, and at what Luke replied to it without his permission. His head might be going to ache in a minute.

Ryo has the good grace to grin.

"Oh, I dunno. To ensure you remember every second of the extended pleasure I plan on giving you? I don't mean to brag but I think I can safely say this will be one of the more momentous moments of your existence, Kame. You'll want to be in full possession of your senses, if only to commit it to memory. "

The tone is only mildly mocking.

His eyes are frank.

They don't falter as they hold his probably dazed gaze.

Kame's quieted down. His mind is contemplating in a detached way what Ryo really said. He's totally batshit drunk but it doesn't matter. He still understands Ryo really well, much better than Ryo is able to tell.

"I'm not settling for a one-night stand. I want this to be more. You know this is special, too", is the essence of what Ryo really said, asked, since at the end he's even added an anxious question "don't you?"

"'Kay" Kame whispers. And because that sounded a little sulky. "Sure." He adds and although he totally is sure, he licks his lips nervously. Because in his own way, he's answered honestly and bared his soul back.

"I do."

Ryo had been taut above him, awaiting his answer, so much so that now his relief is almost palpable. He bends and grazes Kame's mouth, still quirking a bit with disappointment, in what turns into a very consoling goodnight kiss in the end. When he tears away, he murmurs sweet promises in his ear of nicer morning ones before he settles at his back as he rolls on his side, his definitely now adult body spooning, his spirit a 100 % absolutely there.

And Kame's convinced there's no way he'll sleep a wink now except Ryo's extraterrestrial fingers are so soothing on top of his own stubby ones, he's gotta relax, he relaxes, infinitely.

Yeah. Ryo isn't what Kame would have expected at all, he thinks sleepily after a while.

He is so....

So...

"So much better." He mumbles.

At his back, Ryo answers with a monster snore.

Midnight Sun

Mon, 12 Oct 2009 07:25:38 GMT

I do impulsive things.

And then I regret them.

Hopefully nobody noticed.

I don't mean to let anybody down. It's me I'm angry with. I'm wading through issues up to higher than here, I'm not going to say IRL because life isn't something you section off so easily, at least not I, otherwise I don't suppose I would feel sad at how brusquely I behaved here, it just wouldn't matter. However, and although I attempted to literally write it all off as insignificant, it does matter, to me. I know I (try to) interact with real people, through fiction - but still. When I fail, it makes me sad. And sometimes when I succeed, and people respond, it makes me happy. I do care.

Otherwise, why bother deleting anything at all, even?

I really can't promise never to do anything so stupid again, but I do apologize to those people that have always been terribly nice, for being rude. I think I was, and I hope you can forgive my fail ^^.

I can hardly bear my own company anymore, but I like yours, nice people, and I like it here ^^.

Iconic Memory - Ryokame Fanvid

Mon, 28 Sep 2009 12:12:33 GMT

Because when words fail you, well, there is always Windows Movie Maker ^^""".

Download links (on megaupload), although who'd want this, but u never know : Medium sized and tiny (I actually like tiny the best, hear that, Ryo-chan ^^?)

As ever, I shall be grateful for any CC anyone would like to throw my way :)))!

The diva & the d.v (Chapter 3) : How is the weather?

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 09:25:14 GMT

Title: The diva & the d.v
Chapter 3/? : How is the weather?
Pairing : Sosuke/Kame
Disclaimer: Nobody's mine.
Rating : PG-13.
Summary : That lamp is going places.
A/N : Wouldn't it be weird to dedicate this to anybody?*thinks* Well, maybe not if it was somebody wonderfully weird... So, zsuness , this is for you ^^ <333 (I'm only sorry that it sucks >.<).

He opens the door, not even bothering to tone down the expectant expression on his face today.

Sometimes, lately, Sosouke's been coming home earlier.

It makes Kame high, it’s that bad.

She's there on the doorstep instead though.

He will insist on thinking of her as Her (no matter how much he tries to make the h a minuscule, it ends up into a capital letter).

But he knows damn well Her has a name, he's heard it often enough, too, too fucking often rolling off Sosuke's lips, full of this regret that makes him so horribly envious, not to know.

Michiru.

She looks so pretty and pure, like she was just plucked out of the nest, untouched as yet by life, by anything or anyone in truth.

It's too much innocence for Kame to withhold.

This innocence is violence in itself.

His bubble bursts, the delusions it held, all shattered.

She hasn't even spoken.

And Kame's understood already how dirty he is in comparison, that he cannot even hope to compare, he never could.

He should count himself lucky that Sosuke would have him serve whatever small purpose it was he served for that small lapse of time.

And most of all, he shouldn't let it sully Sosuke on any account, his charitable association with him.

That would be no way of thanking him.

He plasters a smile upon his face.

"Oh my God, you have to be Michiru. I just know. Sosuke speaks of you all the time and, honestly, I didn't believe you were even half as pretty as he described but here you are proving me wrong. Come in, come in, he's going to be so delighted. I'm Kame, a friend of his. I was just passing through."

He remembers his few things still in the bedroom and bathroom.

Those can be picked up and packed up in seconds.

It's a habit he acquired over time and until right this instant he hadn't realized he'd done it here at Sosuke's.

He's less of a fool than he thought, then, he thinks with a little bit of bitter satisfaction.

He didn't let himself drop all the way to the bottom of Dreamland, even if he did dive headfirst.

And thank fuck.

Now he won't interfere in Sosuke's happiness.

He'd hate himself even more than he already does if he'd done that.

And Sosuke'd hate him too.

He balks at that thought.

He couldn't bear for that to happen.

Sosuke's been so good to him.

He'll be ever grateful.

He’s indebted.

He blabbers on, lying like he breathes.

"I was in town for a few weeks and Sosuke kindly put me up for a bit and then I totally abused his sense of hospitality. You know how he is. But I was actually about to go now. Ah, it's such a shame because I'd have loved to have chatted a bit, gotten to know you better.”

"I'm not sure Sosoke would have liked that."

Michiru whispers, blinking, and she sounds frightened a little which puzzles Kame.

"Haha you're so right but of course you know him much better than I do."

Doesn't she appreciate how possessive Sosuke is of her?

It’s such an adorable side of him, one you wouldn’t suspect at first sight.

What wouldn’t Kame give to incite feelings like those in Sosouke?

She’s followed him inside the bedroom, rather like a shadow.

Well, this Her place, too.

Their lovebirds’ nest.

He was just intruding momentarily.

“Can I help you, Kame? I would like to help you.” She emphasizes, oozing saintly kindness so much right this second he almost flinches. Not trusting himself to speak just then, he shakes his head no, not looking at her luminous figure, standing there in the corner of his eye and made diffuse by his repressed tears. It kind of hurts to know how actually lovely Sosouke’s one and only is.

How unlike him.

If he’d said the same thing now…

He wouldn’t have used the same line, to begin with. He would have said, ‘Need help with that?’ and the words would have become twisted somehow, sinuous, as they passed his lips, and conveyed much, much more, the meaning instantly lewd.

Like last night, when he was leaning in this same doorframe while Sosouke changed the sheets and he innocently, well, he meant it to be innocent, it just didn’t work out quite like that, enquired whether he needed help with that.

Yeah, like that.

And Sosuke, gentleman of his dreams, hadn’t.

Not once.

Sosuke doesn’t need help, as a rule, he dispenses it to people like him, Kame thinks sentimentally, smiling hard and crinkling his eyes to hold back the unwarranted tears as he stuffs T-Shirts into his worn bag.

She watches on, a sympathetic presence, hovering, as he gathers the rest of his minimal stuff.

There, Kame’s all done packing.

Still smiling for all he’s worth, even if that’s not very much, Kame walks out and through the living room one last time, with Her gently guiding him along to the door, ushering, as the hostess of this home sweet home should.

He’s out the door.

About to say bye.

He sees it then, on the tabletop.

Suddenly he can't bear the thought of it shattering all over Her sleek long mane, the yellow and white shards not sticking to it anywhere because it’s so supple, it’s otherworldy, her hair, it’s this stream of suppleness. It doesn’t look like anything can taint Her in any way. Also in some weird way, it doesn't quite seem correct toward Her either to leave it there.

She should have her own colour lamp, the ruby red one, too.

Especially since she was here first.

Since she matters way more.

She always will.

“I nearly forgot to take this.” He says walking casually to it. “Sosuke said I could have it, you know how generous he is. I love yellow. And lamps."

He smiles at her again and it comes off genuine, maybe he even feels a little bit genuine, God, by the time he's out of Sosuke's life for good he's going to be Oscar ready like nobody's business.

That time's coming round real fast too.

He’s not stalling.

But there’s a little notepad with a pencil next to the lamp on the table.

Quick, without thinking, because if he stops to think Kame’ll worry about his sucky handwriting and his terrible terrible terrible spelling and then he’ll go away even more ungratefully than how he’s planning to split right now, he bends and grabs the pencil. His hand shakes a little.

She remains by the door, holding it open, but she doesn’t hurry him in any other way, she’s the picture of patience.

He wants to write:

'Sosuke darling' but he figures even if She's probably too considerate of other people to read his note, She might happen upon it later and then it might stir up trouble between Her and Sosuke and he doesn't want that, well, he only wants it in a superficially bitchy way but deep, deep down he needs Sosuke to be happy, so happy it hurts. Him. Kame. Not Sosuke. Plus he can picture Sosuke's elegant eyes popping out of their uppity sockets at being called darling by him but what fun would that be if he's not there to watch it happen and he won't be.

So he doesn't write that.

He doesn't even start with 'Dear'.

Instead he begins:

Sosuke,

Finally I've seen your Michiru! She looks as pretty and pure and beautiful as you said exactly. Now she's here again I'm sure things will work out fine between you guyz. She can't help but love you for sure. You're the most loving and loveable person that I have ever met. Michiru's real lucky, and so was I, to have met you. Thank you, for everything.

Kame.

P.S : I hope it's okay that I took the lamp.

He walks away from the apartment.

The weather is rotten.

Figures.

He walks fast, slips some, keeps walking fast.

Because he’s totally not hoping Sosuke will come running after him in a minute.

It’s far behind already.

Her too.

Sosuke.

The wet sidewalk feels depressingly familiar under his feet.

Kame wonders, if he had miraculously managed to escape this lifestyle, whether he’d ever have forgotten the feel of the sidewalk under his feet, the feel of the walls you lean against so long behind his back.

The feeling of having no home to return to.

No one.

After many, many, many years, maybe.

Maybe.

Oh well.

He’ll never know now.

A big, bad, expensive black limo pulls up beside him and somehow he is not surprised.

This is normality, isn’t it?

An old, plump, spotted hand opens the backdoor from within.

Kame doesn’t even hesitate.

He hops in.

The elderly creep smiles at him with yellowed teeth.

Regrettably Sosuke’s gorgeous grin flashes before his eyes, he’s helpless to repress it, but he lets it go, tries to, wishes it to fade, he has to otherwise he’ll feel horror in another second.

Comparing his clients with Sosuke is the very worst in bad ideas, if he intends to even scrape a living of some sort once more.

“What's a pretty thing like you doing carrying a lamp around?” The old man asks agreeably.

Oh. Conversation included. Probably he’s one of them powerful types. Tycoons they like to be called. These love to have a semblance of civility. To begin with.

Kame’s still grasping the yellow lamp a bit idiotically, he’s aware of that.

He’s gonna have to let it go soon, too.

But he can’t just yet.

Perhaps in another handful of seconds.

“It's...my goodluck charm.”

He's feeling slightly disgusted at the sight of the man. He tells himself it doesn't matter, he'll get it over with quickly, he's sure. After all, he's no newbie at this. And he always knew his life with Sosuke was like a lull in his real existence, except he hadn't known his luck would last that wonderfully long.

But slutting is like riding a bicycle, right.

“Isn't it kind of big for a goodluck charm?”

Kame flashes his trademark wicked smile.

He’s been smiling demurely for so many weeks, it feels almost abnormal now on his face.

"I like them big." He declares in a naughty tone.

He feels so cliché he could cry.

The old man chuckles.

“You’re feisty. I like that.” He declares, his expression surprisingly thoughtful.

Kame licks at his lips.

He does this because he’s nervous.

But the old man only sees pink tongue, saliva, wet lips.

Kame doesn’t exist anymore, outside of his body.

The small beady eyes widen.

“You’re full of promise, young man.”

“Why, thank you.” Kame coos automatically.

His reflexes are kicking in.

The tycoon spreads his legs and has this totally unnecessary indicative gesture with his hand. Kame really didn’t think he wanted his knee sucked. Although you never know.

“Show me how much potential you’ve got, and I might be able to do a little something for you in return.”

Kame resists rolling jaded eyes.

He just hopes the old fucker doesn’t plan on paying him with empty promises. He needs dough, especially since he went and blew all of his cash away on the soft grey cashmere sweater Sosuke tore apart in seconds because he’d worried so much while Kame took ages choosing it for him, but he couldn’t know that. Sosuke…

Stop.

He places the lamp carefully on the seat beside him.

He drops to his own knees.

Undoes the very best of quality that comes in flies nowadays.

There.

He's pedaling already.

See, that wasn’t so hard.

The diva & the d.v (chapter 2) : Yellow

Mon, 07 Sep 2009 15:17:48 GMT

Title : The diva & the d.v
Chapter 2/? : Yellow
Pairing : Sosuke/Kame. Too rare! ( I know ;_; )
Disclaimer : Nobody's mine here. Nobody, but especially not Michiru, mind you ;p.
Rating : PG -15. Because Kame's mind is a gutter. Which gently weeps.
Summary : Domestic matters matter.

"Could we…" Kame starts, stutters, stops.

The purposeful diffidence produces the desired effect.

Sosuke, startled out of what looks to be total routine to him, is instantly attentive.

“Can it be yellow instead?” Kame asks, ending the question on a hesitant breath.

"Huh?" Sosuke stops his hand just as it was about to close around the ruby red model of lamp.

“I like yellow.” Kame expands, beaming hope into his puzzled face.

It’s true, he’s fond of yellow, but that’s not really why he’s making this request, of course. He can never tell Sosuke why.

I want my own colour lamp. The red one was hers. I want to be special too in your eyes, Sosuke.

“Oh, of course.” Sosuke answers graciously. He’s all affability. Astonishingly, he always seems to really like it when Kame acts needy, which isn’t ingrained in his nature, actually he had any neediness beaten out of him at a tender age, but he’ll fake it, he’ll fake it good if that’s what Sosuke wants in a…

In some person he picked up off the street.

He even accompanies his assent with a genial smile and Kame’s heart, which has gotten decidedly weak lately, misses a beat. Another smile and he might be going to genuinely blush, instead of acting it out calculatedly.

With intent and even a touch of enthusiasm, Sosuke starts walking along the shelves bearing the selection of lamps on offer, searching for yellow just because Kame asked, unbelievably.

See, Sosuke isn’t mad in the least this morning, not anymore.

Oh it was awfully inconsiderate of Kame to leave the apartment and go wandering about without warning of any kind yesterday. Without a doubt. How was Sosuke to guess he had gone searching for a thank you present for him because he’s been such a dreamy host all this time now, three blissful weeks already, it’s surreal. Just awful of him. He has no manners, has Kame, never had any and it’s like he never even learns anything of worth along the way, nothing except sordid tricks. It’s like his life is one long aimless string of blurry blunders and stupid mishaps and disgusting sorts of successes because there was never anyone to show him any better.

Was.

Because now it looks like Life just might have handed him an honest to goodness chance of reforming his despicable character.

Heaven has sent him a guardian angel.

A little severe, sure, but so incredibly kind deep down inside.

Not to mention gorgeous on the outside, Kame can’t help but add mentally as his eyes linger along the slim line of Sosuke’s hips under the sober white silk shirt and then a little lower still, to pause at the lovely rounded top of his nicely-cut preppy pants.

Sosuke’s so staid it’s somehow sexy, Kame can’t help but think.

Several zillion times a day.

God, he still can’t believe that someone like Sosuke would get so worked up about it, yesterday’s incident, about him, to the point where he was completely beside his usually effortlessly cool and kind self.

Mad with worry.

And, then, sorry.

So sorry.

About having been mad with worry.

That was the most wonderful part, actually. A part of Kame is already thinking up myriads of little ways to make Sosuke mad again in future, just so he can relive instants like those. Instants in which Sosuke holds him close like he’s made out of extraordinarily fragile and precious porcelain and whispers sorries so sincerely between sobs, and caresses his hair with infinite tenderness and promises to never, ever get mad again as long as he’s reasonable.

So Kame’s not being too reasonable now, imagining things that might make all of that happen again. And, honest, the last thing he wants on this earth is for Sosuke to suffer, never, so he won’t, he won’t carry any of his coy little ideas out, no. But hey, give him a little fantasy break here, because those sorts of scenarios seem to be the only ones leading to Sosuke actually touching him.

And he craves for Sosuke to touch him.

Kame sighs silently as he follows Sosuke's lead.

Yeah, all that was yesterday. Sosuke’s not mad anymore. And here he is being very reasonable except in his fantasies.

It’s reasonable to ask for the yellow lamp instead, isn’t it, only just a little capricious?

Sosouke is almost finished walking down the line of lamps and now he stops, he must have spotted something.

He turns around and he almost looks amused, which is rare, but he’s in such a good mood this morning.

“It doesn’t look like they have the same model in yellow. Actually, yellow mustn’t be too popular right now because this is the only one they’ve got and there are white patterns on it. And they don’t even call it yellow, mind you. It says ‘butterfly green’ on the tag. But if you want it anyway, let’s have it, okay?”

He holds it out to Kame kindly and, with both hands, carefully, Kame picks the heavy, round, beautiful object up.

Butterfly green? No. It’s yellow. Bright and vibrant and... Actually, it’s probably gonna clash with everything else in Sosuke’s apartment.

Plus it kinda looks more expensive than the previous model too, he realizes.

Asking for yellow was probably unreasonable.

Stalling a little to find a satisfying solution to this tricky situation he threw himself into, he tries to peep at the tag Sosuke has kept in his hand.

Sosuke lifts it up adroitly to his own eyes while hiding it from Kame's without seeming to and reads everything it says to him, except the price and really, sometimes he’s so genteel Kame could slap him. Not really.

This is just frustration speaking.

“This one gives ‘a soft, mood light’. And since it’s mouth blown glass ‘each lamp is unique’.” He glances at Kame’s hands still holding the round object with great care. “I like it, don’t you? Adopted, definitely, no?”

Unique.

Kame blinks.

He feels like Sosuke’s just given him the sun.

So he tries not to think too much about the kind of stars he’s never going to see, Sosuke’s not into homosexual sex, so what. Fuck sex. He cares. Just existing in his dark eyes is invaluable. And sometimes, sometimes their elbows graze when they do the dishes side by side at the sink and no orgasm ever made Kame feel that way.

So.

“Thank you.” He singsongs, trying to keep the unwonted emotion out of his voice so it won’t quack but twitter cutely. And he attempts to cock his head to the side prettily too, but it’s a bit difficult with the plaster around his neck.

Even so, Kame hopes his expression does come across as one of childish pleasure. That’s what he’s aiming to portray in order to make Sosuke smile again.

He’s delighted for real when it works.

“You’re welcome.” The reply is heartfelt and, yes, completed by another, indulgent, gentle smile.

Gosh, Sosouke’s smiles are always something.

Something wonderful.

Kame melts in a puddle of adoration right there, but thankfully you don’t get arrested for doing this in public.

“Need anything else?”

Kame goes to shake his head no but that’s not such a good idea.

“Uh huh.” He voices, still struggling to be sweet as opposed to squeaky.

“Well, let’s go home, then.” Sosuke says with this complacent adult-in-charge tone.

If Kame’s hands weren’t lovingly cradling the lamp as they start down the Ikea aisle, he’d sneak a pinch at himself.

Or not.

Kame kinda feels like he’s in a beautiful coma he never ever wants to wake up from.

zzzz FIERCE FIC REC zzzz

Sat, 29 Aug 2009 18:30:14 GMT

*rubs eyes*

Hey? Hi. Hey. I'm sorry, I really sleepy and groggy right now. It's to be expected that this post will be nonsense ^^"""". I'm being a more pitiful LJer than usual, even, lately : I've been somewhat ill and now I'm convalescing and this largely explains (but not entirely) my fail away. The illness is nothing especially fun, because when is illness ever fun, ne *rolling sleepy eyes at groggy self*, but anyways, I should be okay in a while, yay! It just seems so silly being limp and blah and meh for so long, like it's a total waste of time, argh. But I need to embrace it as part of the process of getting better I suppose *sleepy smile*. Also :((((, whilst attempting to answer comments just now I accidentally deleted the contents of my LJ inbox. Everything. The comments are all duplicated at my email addie normally , but the private messages, they weren't, and that devastates me a little ;_;. I should still be able to answer those comments I haven't yet - just please excuse me if I take a little while to track them down, okie *sleepy hugsies*?

I miss chattering properly with you guys. I hope everyone's busy being as fabulous as usual ^_____^. I wanna sleepily shout out especially to akillarian , tomosuki , gummykid (I am SO pissed about having accidentally deleted your latest PM. And the ones before. >.<) and zsuness (I hope the sun made an apparition and its rays petted your pretty head).

A bit of sleepy pimping now because I couldn't not pimp this and also this way this post instantaneously becomes the opposite of a cure for insomnia :

MY MOSTEST FAVOURITEST RYOXKAME FIC EVER IS half HERE OMG :

FIERCE PART 1A & FUCKING FIERCE PART 1B.

It's simply fabulous.

Please, please pester sevenswells relentlessly for part 2 too. I am against those torture-the-author methods usually but what the hell. I will do anything to know what happens next.

*sleepily determined*

zzzz.

Mercy (The RyoKame Kind...) - mini fanvid

Wed, 29 Jul 2009 07:17:57 GMT

:-* there!

To compensate for my fundamental lack of online time, I started playing around on my comp - which is, btw, a petite notebook prone to acting outrageously raped after you've maybe attempted to painstakingly assemble 30 seconds of images together (*excusing herself for how she dramatically truncated the tune*) - and the result was this mini fanvid. This is pretty totally sucky but hey I had fun and it's RyoKame of sorts :))). So I'm hoping you have mercy on me, ne ^^.

If anyone has any tips to offer on how to do this ~~less really bad~~ better (regarding editing, programs to use, formats or how to upload this in better quality, if possible. Anything), constructive criticism & advice are going to be much appreciated. *would like to learn* Thank you in advance ^___^ !

Credits : Originally, the only vid I had on my comp was Akane's fanvid (100% made of awesome. Actually, I advise you to go rewatch that instead of this) so you'll recognize plenty of images from it : even intact parts of her editing here and there, because it rocks! (as opposed to my shoddy editing. My editing's just rocky ^__^"""). So thanks again, Akane, ilu <333 :-*

Dear Ryo-chan

Tue, 14 Jul 2009 20:17:14 GMT

Dear Ryo-chan,

Today was pretty horrid.

So I feel like writing to you to take my mind off things. One could say I'm using you, I guess. Do you mind very much? Oh, come on, Ryo. You're not even reading this, ever, so you can't sulk okay.

Okay?

As a matter of fact, if you would go as far as to smile, that would probably make my evening, you know *remorseless emotional blackmail*.

*peeps at current desktop*

Why, thank you!

So, beyond the instant urge to babble to you, I realize I actually have nothing of interest to say.

Nothing.

*fishes around within nothing*

Erm.

Ah!

I felt this amazed fascination the other day upon learning you had been rereading the brothers Grimm's and Anderson's fairytales. I don't know why I should : I suppose yesterday's children like us would, all over the world, have this sort of longing. Especially since, at least in my case, I'm not at all sure whether I'd consider myself to even be today's adult. I endeavour to be. But yeah. That's another (uninteresting) story.

I don't really think fairytales are solely for children either. Actually, I believe that applies to all those convenient categories out there in Literature (and beyond, why not, woohoo. Aren't I just wild tonight.) Distinctions like Children Literature and Young Adult Novels and Chick Lit are used for understandable enough practical reasons, I suppose, but that's about as valid as they are, really, particularly in the case of great works or indeed, masterpieces, which are going to rudely transcend anyway. Okay, except for chick lit. You have to be a chick to get that. And even then, how are you supposed to know Louboutin is some shoe stylist and not just another scary brain operation? I tell you, Ryo, that information is not inbuilt into feminine anatomy. At least not mine ^^. You have no idea wtf I'm on about, do you, Ryo ;_; ? Me either, I' afraid.

*trying to get back to sorta subject*

It just feels weird to me whenever you happen to apparently be interested in something very specific that I am interested in as well. Like when I read about your loving the rhcp and worshipping Anthony and having a crush on John (you do, don't you?) (it's okay, the entire universe is infatuated with John Frusciante just because). The world seemed to have become minuscule for a surreal second then.

After which it definitely dawns in that there are zillions of us freaky fans out there and sure, I'm bound to be a fan of someone who's a fan of ones that I'm also incidentally a fan of :).

Besides, it's certainly not like I share all of your likes and dislikes. For instance, I am not oppaiz obsessed. Meaning we're not astral twins or whatever. To tell you the truth, I very much absolutely doubt if we'd be bffs.

Still, I itch a little to ask you what your favourite album of theirs is and why so and shit like that. I stop there in my imaginings: I do not
allow myself to envision a blissful session of us squeeing over footage of Anthony tenderly feeding John pre-concert like a motherbird its babybird. So I am not a psycho, so there. (Actually, the song Sir Psycho Sexy reminds me of YOU Ryo. Just the title. Flattered?)

I...digressed?

Anyway.

Fairytales!

Fascinate me.

Did you know there even are, like, serious scholarly disputes and everything about the definition of a fairytale O.O?

I didn't, until I attempted to write one involving you and another boy and also insects but really that's irrelevant. That's when, when I was doing what I'll graciously term research (but 'browsing around the web googling stuff up' also could describe it too) for this irrelevant story, that I discovered the existence of such thrilling theoretical fairytale-related refinery. So, that was another OH MY GOD! moment, brought to me by you, truly. It got me almost beside my wiggly self with excitement at the time, it really did, and then, er, that's it. I didn't quite have the time to pursue this further back then, and then I forgot (I often forget).

Writing this random letter to you brought it all back, wow ^_______^.

Yes, I definitely want to investigate the field of fairytales further.

*Stops abruptly*

Oh Ryo, I am so happy you aren't really gonna be reading this : no need to apologize profusely for how long and incoherent and boring this was, or to shape a dainty goodbye.

You're simply the world's most perfect imaginary penpal ^^.

I love you, I do.

THE END

Ana (all better ever after)

One Shot : War and Peace and Banana Ice Cream and Online Games and Documentaries on Pandas and ...

Sun, 12 Jul 2009 16:26:42 GMT

Heya *waves and splashes*

How are you, nice people? I hope you're doing great and enjoying splendid health and that life progresses in the direction you want it to exactly ^^. I'm not around very much and I do miss you, which is how I think I ended up writing crack on a Sunday ^^"""".

Title : War and Peace and Banana Ice Cream and Online Games and Documentaries on Pandas and General Procrastination and (a very little) Jealousy and Happy Endings
Genre : Crack
Rating : PG-13
A/N : For akillarian : I don't mean to distract you from your studies , you understand ^__________^ : it's only for when you want a what the fuck moment of relaxation. Also *hugs you so hard and wishes she could retrieve the missing info from your mean comp*. I really really hope that setback didn't hit you too hard studywise, ne :-*. For mattiezumi , owning Japan as I speak, I just know it. I'm so torn between wanting you to stay some more over there so you have LOTS MORE STILL to tell when you come back and wanting you to come back immediately because, well, I miss you LOTS. Simply ^^. For sevenswells : from twiliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight to twiiiiiiiiiliiiiiiiight 2! I can't wait but, yeah, I have to occupy myself in the meantime and this is how I do it ^^""""""""""""""""""".

Ryo had a bit of time to kill, o rare instance.

Why not read War and Peace.

He'd ordered it on amazon after hearing Shige mention how the thing was beyond even his superior grey matter.

Yeah, just, just because he was a star in fabulous Jyannis didn't mean he needed to neglect his neurons.

Also, he wouldn't mind shutting Shige's trap for once. Once upon a time. Yeah, he was having a little trouble digesting that Shige'd ratted to mofoing Wink Up about the fact that Nishikido Ryo still read fairytales at his now adult age.

Of course he'd laughed it off when confronted with it.

With his killer sense of humour.

It wasn't that he was ashamed of the fact okay.

It was that he had a Nishikido Ryo: Now Mature! image to uphold at the moment and he hated being made to feel like this new image was basically a thin sheet he had to hastily hoist upon some naked as a baby bookworm self.

So, he was declaring war on Shige and reading motherfucking War and Peace.

Who knew? It might turn out to be mindblowing. The cost of having all four volumes delivered had already been more than a bit mindblowing. ~~Oh man.~~ Great omen.

Okay, but if he was gonna do this, he was gonna do this right.

Nishikido Ryo didn't do things halfheartedly.

He went into the kitchen to get himself a snack - food for thought, as it were.

Since they'd said on the episode of Mr. Brain he'd incidentally been brainwashed into watching ( but he might not be able to grumble too much about this, since that person that had washed his brain had also washed his laundry all of last week without even being asked, maybe because he knew last weeeek had been superbusy for Ryo. Or. Because. He. Was. Just. That. Fricking. Sweet.) how bananas stimulated your brain (duh) he got the tub of banana ice-cream out from the very back of the freezer compartment. Extremely rapid sugar, he was sure. (He didn't even like sugary shit but since he was doing this... Sweet person wouldn't mind that he'd hit his secret stash. He decided.)

Then, in order to get into a warrior frame of mind (half the appropriate mood to read the novel if one when about things methodically, and Nishikido Ryo went about things methodically : using Nishikido Ryo's own method) he went online and played a war game (which he lost) (by one effin' millimetre, no more. ARGH). (ARGH.) (ARGH!)

Once that done (he was dejected) (a millimetre. At most) (and a bit nauseous) ( since he had managed to down the whole of the banana ice-cream tub, no problem) (actually, going for that last spoonful at a key point in the action might have been what cost him victory) he watched a documentary about the preservation of wildlife (it was the panda episode, he'd already seen it, like, ages ago.) Most peaceful thing on today's ever violent TV he could find.

So peaceful, in fact, that he fell asleep on the bed then and there.

When he woke up, the pandas had somehow transformed into Arashi dancing upon a rainbow on the screen and it was already night time.

Talk about a shocking awakening.

Whoa.

His cell phone was flashing next to his hand upon the bed and a quick check of his messages revealed to him that even after his prolonged peace nap, there was time yet for him to kill.

Oh.

He sat up against the head of the bed and turned the lamp on the night table on.

The light fell on the solid gilded letters ornating tome one's awaiting cover.

Enough time to get started on War and Peace?

Nah.

He didn't think so.

But being Nishikido Ryo, he could still give it a shot.

He wouldn't have peace of mind until he'd won this intellectual war, he fathomed.

So he went to his cupboard in the corner and spent a few minutes poring over his collection of glasses for the optimal pair with which to approach his intellectual lecture.

That he had 10/10 vision was irrelevant : just like he oughtn't to neglect his intellect because he was hotness itself, there was equally no reason why he should neglect his outer style just because of his innate brilliance.

Yes, even at home.

Style was something you had 24/7, F.Y.I.

Armed with a pair of vintage horn rims and having enveloped himself in the cardigan he'd pinched from his grumpy grandpa for an instant badass vintage look ( he must remember to get a pipe somewhere, decidedly) he lay back upon the bed with the sort of elegance (he thought) conferred only by intelligence.

And then he seized tome one from the top of the pile like a man.

Heavy.

He made a point of reading the title anew.

It hadn't changed in the interval.

War and Peace.

A lot to ponder in just the title itself.

Ryo threw his head back upon the pillow, meditatively, and pondered until his neck ached.

He liked at least one half of the title already.

He turned the cover with a great sense of fate turning but, exactly as he was about to plunge into the novel proper, the front door opened.

He heard it do so.

It was all the characteristic noises, lock clicking, key turning, slightly off key humming.

Ryo looked up like lightning, gripping the book (why was he gripping the book?).

Socks padding across the entry hall and then - Kame, without pause at the threshold, coming inside the room, rosy-cheeked for no discernible reason and now beside him on the bed.

Pecking at his lips.

He was as suddenly annoyingly present as he had been annoyingly absent all afternoon.

Of course.

War and Peace was slowly slipping from Ryo's fingers with every peck on his lips.

Kame drew back a little.

"Hey. I dunno whether you got my message? I got a bit held up after work, sorry. It was Kimura-kun. He dropped in from the set next door to say hi."

So pink.

Tender pink.

His cheeks.

Ryo mustered dignity around him along with the cardigan and turned back to Tolstoy.

People with badass names also kept him company.

Kame peered at the volume in Ryo's hands. "But I bet you got so lost within whatever story this is, you hardly noticed right." Ryo sensed him smiling happily inches from his face. Right. "Go on, read on. I don't want to interrupt if you're at a good passage or anything".

How very generous of him. But wasn't Kame ever generous? To everyone.

"Yeah" Ryo grumbled.

He'd reopened the book at chapter five but fuck it. He didn't honestly think there was reason to be overly worried about War and Peace spoilers. This was, after all, only tome one of fucking four.

Fuck.

And he didn't want Kame thinking he could make him yearn the whole afternoon like that and then that he, Nishikido Ryo, would just drop every fucking fascinating thing he might be engrossed in (about to get completely engrossed in. Whatever) the second he got there from being no doubt chatted up pink by Kimura fucking Takuya in person.

Hell no.

After a second or two of silently observing Ryo's absorbed reading profile, Kame slid into a lying position beside him, his face into his arm.

What kind of a position was that?

"I'm gonna go shower in a minute." He was speaking into the sleeve of Ryo's grumpy grandpa cardigan and it sounded like he was addressing himself, rather. "And then maybe I'll watch a movie while you read." He'd somehow snuggled a thick finger inside a loose part of patternwork of the cardigan and Ryo felt the small pad of it against the skin of his forearm. "Don't worry, I won't watch it loud." He didn't know about chapters one, two, three and four but chapter five of War and Peace so far wasn't very fun. Not the first line of it he'd read so far. Then again, warm breath kept reaching him through wool. That was distracting. "I wanna watch Twilight. My sister said it's so romantic and Koki said it rocks pretty hard. So I guess it's really romantic."

Kame said that with so much fucking longing.

Adorable! It is enough to make one's head whirl!

Went line two of chapter five of War and Peace.

And Ryo had no idea who and what Tolstoy meant to describe with those words, but they really seemed disturbingly fitting just at present.

Before Ryo could gather his wits and get to line three, Kame flopped away and to the side all of a sudden and he was about to get off the bed and go shower and watch really romantic Twilight without him, Ryo supposed.

Ryo dropped War and Peace as well as his pretense of being interested in it like a hot potato, and pulled Kame back into a lying position and under him.

He kissed him.

He didn't need to chat Kame up any colour before they got down to business.

There had to be advantages to being the motherfucking official boyfriend after all.

Give it a few minutes and Kame was fucking giggling and Ryo had not been joking in the least.

"What?" Ryo wanted to know.

"Your glasses. They're all steamed up."

He tossed them away.

"Hey." Kame protested, still amused "I didn't mind. You look kinda hot with them on."

"Better than Mr. Brain?"

Kame's chuckles died down and he blinked softly, a few times, under the intensity of first the words and then Ryo's stare, until his features were perfectly serious.

There was this silence wherein Ryo had the time to measure exactly how insecure that had come off sounding.

Kame's fingers, he then realised, were caressing his eyebrows as though to make them unfurl.

"Better than anybody."

Ryo gulped but he didn't manage to gulp quite as casually as he'd have liked.

"Wow. You're bright pink you know." He said to Kame to cover his own embarrassment and it was true, Kame was bright pink going on fucking fuschia.

"Nobody compares to you." Kame continued, a little too loudly, ignoring the remark but getting fuschia for reals. "Nobody." He added doggedly, entwining his fingers within the fabric of the grandpa cardigan Ryo was still wearing, with insistence. In case Ryo hadn't got it.

"I knew that." Ryo said, now nonchalantly.

He felt tons better, even if he hadn't known until just now how opressed and thus pissed off he'd been feeling all day. All weeeek.

"Whatever." Kame mumbled, and that was one of the things Ryo especially appreciated about him, how graciously he let these things go. It was incredibly convenient. "I'm just relieved we're not gonna fight tonight."

"Who said anything about fighting?" Ryo grinned and leaned in closer.

Yeah, forget blood red etc. He bet he could make Kame turn an actual cerise colour.

Pacifically, of course.

War was okay, but when it came right down to it, Ryo championed peace.

And what the fuck, Nishikido Ryo really preferred fairytales to great classic novels okay.

Something to do with happy endings.

_____________________________________________________________________________

OMAKE

In this really romantic happily ever after, Nishikido Ryo still thought Twilight was total shit, though.

One-Shot : Solo

Sun, 21 Jun 2009 12:24:09 GMT

One-Shot : Solo
Warnings : Speculations spinning on so much false whatever
Pairing : RyoKame more than ever
A/N : for my own personal lolcatz provider and uplifter of my mood :-*.

These, these are the best years of Nishikido Ryo's life.

In all probability.

It hits home.

It only hits home now as he waits to be interviewed on his own, a full-blown interview. Unlike Kamenashi Kazuya sitting there across the room who's only going to be going in as a sidesman, some sort of accessory to the Kimura Takuya. Yeah like the Kimura Takuya's little cute hamster that he carries around in his pocket everywhere to show off.

Sure it's a cute act.

But there's no room for mistake.

Kame's not the star there.

At best he's a satellite.

Ryo, now, is the star of his own show. Shows.

It's started this year, his being awarded a succession of successful roles, and it hasn't shown any signs of stopping since and now he's in the Limelight with a big L and what they never mention about it all those years they dangle the thing, the Fame, in front of their impressionable junior noses is that the lime is in the word for a reason.

Yes, there's an unexplainable but undeniable bitterness about the Fame.

It's an acquired taste he supposes.

Ryo'll get around to fully appreciating it, he decides, the second he can take a breather.

Although that second is looking invisible so far on the horizon of his schedule.

But he can't and he won't complain.

At least not aloud.

It's Ryo's hour of glory.

He needs to seize it unabashedly.

What if it totally stresses him out to see it taking off like some fucking rocket.

His career.

He was always successful from the very beginning, from his Ryo-chan days, sure, but guess what, now it looks like he can shed the fucking chan at long last.

Oh he knew it was affectionate of the fans and shit.

It still hella rankled.

Who wants to be indefinitely diminutively suffixed?

The intent was always to be Ryo-sama, motherfucker.

Getting there.

At lightning speed even.

So why the want to crawl in a corner somewhere and bawl his eyes out, one asks? Ryo asks himself, for the umpteenth time. He answers the same as all the times before.

He knows it's mostly just exhaustion, this feeling.

Who knew you actually had to work at it so damn hard, once you reach this level, instead of relaxing and enjoying and reaping everything to the max?

Kame probably.

And yeah, even then, having gotten here, it doesn't quite guarantee you the glory, not long term.

Ask the Kimura Takuya's cutie pet over there.

He's grateful to be just guesting, Ryo bets, and that'll maybe be his biggest break this year.

Life as it's unfolding now.

It seems to be running on error mode somehow, to Ryo, like the universe has taken a wrong turn somewhere.

Seriously.

Kame was always going to be the brightest star in Jyannis' sky. Or so it used to seem to Ryo. So, he always acted like he was of the same caliber as Kame, maybe better, but he always had his doubts, although he never ever voiced them, not to anyone, lest they should turn into truth once spoken aloud. And now he's here, almost at the summit, he's kinda scared shitless everyone will uncover how shy he really is, how inept at this.

Stardom.

If he were a real pro he'd be working the room.

Like Kame is right now.

He looks so stupidly at ease over there, chatting up staff with his personal blend of impersonal friendliness, a quarter scrupulous politeness, three-quarter slutty charm.

Kame crosses his legs absentmindedly while he listens to some inane tale about the sound engineer's baby daughter who drools in the drollest way apparently.

Fascinating.

His thighs have a shape, Ryo notices, they're actually shapely, they fill his eye-breaking yellow tight pants supersnuggly with not a millimetre to spare between skin and worn leather.

Oh yeah, he's filled out a lot since Ryo last saw him.

If he had the strength to tease, he'd drag his own sexy skinny ass over there to call him a chubby hamster or what. He wouldn't linger over it, because he's never really been able to actually talk to Kame long, for some reason. Whenever he gets anywhere in his periphery he ends up bombing a deprecating remark on him in passing, and then strolling away at this careful mid-tempo pace so as not to look like he's just hit and is now running. Like Kame's always some minor point along his real trajectory, whatever his real trajectory is supposed to be.

He must have gained about the same amount of weight Ryo has lost recently.

Is that how the universe evens things out?

If so the universe has a weird sense of humour.

The weight on Kame shows more on TV and in pictures etc., inevitably, but in real life, now, across the room, Kame looks arrestingly alive and Ryo feels a little disgusted. He looks so easily healthy and so extremely relaxed and like he's feeling fucking simply happy in his own (radiant) skin, it feels fucking unfair.

It's really Ryo who should be looking and feeling like this.

It's his career taking off after all, and Kame's going down the dump.

Argh.

Irk.

Irk, irk, irk.

If Ryo doesn't smoke in the next 30 seconds or so he might self-combust or something.

He might be going to snap at the interviewer.

Or go catatonic on him more likely.

He pushes himself off the bench where he was giving off a practised cool loner of the band image instead of a bright next big solo thing vibe because he hasn't figured the latter out yet, okay, give him a break, fuck. He needs a break, not a professional break, a break from the fucking profession itself.

He's so gonna drop some mean remark on his way past irking Kame.

He won't cower just because of the presence of the Kimura Takuya there.

After all, he's the not-so-distant future starshit himself.

Two steps away he opens his mouth and right at that second Kame looks his direction and smiles at him, really smiles at him, it's a real smile, a gentle smile, a disarming smile and Ryo shuts his trap altogether and zooms beside the Kimura Takuya and Kame and into the hall and up a dinghy staircase and onto the building's rooftop.

He zips his jacket up to his chin to fend off the chill.

It's half-heartedly depressing out here.

The sky streches out over the horizon of uninteresting square roofs with some effort. It looks too tired to manage even minimal but effective FX like a few sparse raindrops.

The best it can do apparently is to drape itself in this washed out, slightly dirty grey which is hard put to it to pass for a colour.

But the view suits Ryo's mood just fine, mind you.

Ryo goes and sits on a stack of convenient bricks who have no real business that he can see being there, or rather, who give off this unfinished business feel, and lights one up.

He's going to drag his ipod earphones out of his pocket and immerse himself into merciful musical oblivion, anything except Jyannis' type pop, Jesus, but then the door he came in by swings open upon its hinges again, energetically.

Especially up on this drab rooftop, Kame is dressed in such a bright colour, at least his bottom half, it hurts Ryo's eyes a little to look at him.

His legs are like two little shapely sunrays. Or something.

Ryo kind of wants to grumble softly, under his breath, at the interruption.

But something lingers upon Kame's face of that gentle earlier smile, and that smile scares the shit out of Ryo, so much he can't even be rude right now.

He's the one in a position of power nowadays.

He knows he is.

He was fucking voted best newcomer of all time by everyone.

Or some such title.

But still, he feels threatened by soon-to-be-has-been here, funnily.

Kame comes and sits next to him on the stack of bricks, and is this because he's gained weight or what? He has to sit so close to Ryo he's brushing the sticky leg within his combat baggy with his shapely yellow leather encased one.

Fucking fatso.

He even smells of simple happiness or something and the perfume totally doesn't fit the scene.

This was meant to be a gloomy loner moment before he burst in like this and made himself impossible to ignore.

So, Ryo can't very well ignore him, but he makes sure to resent him for all he's worth.

The universe is still bent on being all unfair though, and Kame seems to have no problem whatsoever with ignoring Ryo's foul mood in return.

Ryo knows this because he glanced at Kame sideways to check just now and unfortunately Kame was glancing sideways at him at the exact same second.

"Think you could lend me one of them ciggys?" He smiles quickly, not the gentle smile, thank God for small favours, just a regular eyedazzler.

"You smoke?" Ryo asks.

To think he's known for his incisive repartees.

"I sorta quit but I'm craving one like crazy today." Kame's mouth puckers into a heart shape. He looks so sheepish. What is he, superdeformed? Is it his propensity at pulling these improbable pouts off that inspired the cartoon reference in his retarded band's name?

"Uh huh. You'd regret it later." Ryo takes an ostentatious puff of his already lit up cigarette and blows the smoke right on Kame's heart shaped mouth and he's not too sure what he's doing exactly but, anyway. This is more like it.

"Fuck, you're some S." Kame coughs. He scrunches up his nose as he does, and with its peculiar hooked line, it kinda looks like his nose is doubling over.

Ryo feels his mood lift a little, instantly, unexpectedly at the compliment.

Yeah. He's an S. He's cool and in control and given a little time he won't have anything to envy Kimura Takuya about, except possibly his height. Possibly.

But absolutely nothing else. He bets he could even carry around Kame in his pocket too.

If he wanted to.

He grins at him, a tad seductively, testing.

"Meaning you're M?"

The smile is huge so it stretches the taut skin of his thinned face.

Kame doesn't answer it, however.

He doesn't enter the usual game of seduction they all play with each other, more or less, to pass the time in the many empty moments like this one which make up most of a Jyannis' existence.

Without warning the gentle expression infuses his features once more, and Ryo suddenly feels a warm weight resting on his nervous hand.

He doesn't check but he has a pretty good idea what it is.

Kame's own hand.

Who does he think he is to be touching him like this?

It irks Ryo so much it paralyses him on the spot.

"Ryo are you okay?" Kame asks out of nowhere.

He sounds genuinely concerned.

"What do you mean?" Ryo counters and his voice is corrosive.

He's on top of his game, what the fuck does Kame mean by asking something like that and asking it like this, like he knows Ryo, like he knows.

They're not intimate.

They're not even really friends.

Kame lowers his chin close to his chest and the irritating halo of happiness around his curly head fades ever so slightly when he speaks next:

"It's just... I still remember how I felt around the time I was promoting Nobuta, you know. I guess that was the peak of my career so far. Maybe it was even the peak of my career period," he wryly grimaces and Ryo feels a slight tightening of the hold upon his still paralyzed hand "but...Even so. I felt like shit back then. Ironically."

Kame shrugs and it's like he's shrugged off the miserable memories in an instant because he's turned sideways to Ryo again with another of them gentle smiles playing upon his lips.

"That's why, I thought I'd ask. If you're okay."

His hand is still resting on top of Ryo's like it's natural for it to.

But it's not.

"I'm nothing like you, Kamenashi." Ryo spells out glacially, with great concision, the more so because he's terrified he's going to be engulfed by a tsunami of childish emotion right now and won't even be able to get back down and be fucking interviewed and fucking go on with his stellar adult life, all because of soon-to-be-has-been Kamenashi Kazuya's maudlin smiles and falsely naive manner.

The hand slips away at last, to lie limply between Kame's ridiculous shapely solar legs.

Chin to chest.

Fading happiness.

Ryo hating himself.

Kame probably hating him too, except not even, Kame still somehow speaks softly.

"Of course not. I was out of line just now. I'm sorry, Ryo. Really sorry."

And he's gone down below once more, to rejoin the Kimura Takuya's pocket, Ryo supposes, or wherever it is losers at life go.

Ryo has the entire roof to himself once more.

Yay.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now that he's here and Kame's looking at him it's awkward.

Er.

Awkwarder.

"Hey. This is a surprise." Kame peeps past him automatically, like he expects to find Jin or Pi at his back and for them to be the initiators of this impromptu little visit.

He can stop looking.

Ryo is solo.

Kame's still wearing the jell-O yellow leather pants. Wow. Apparently those are part of his personal wardrobe. It's like he knows they destabilise Ryo. Except of course, he didn't know Ryo was going to barge in on him like this tonight.

They still hella destabilise Ryo.

The pants.

Where was he?

God, he's at Kame's.

Get this over with.

"I was also out of line earlier."

Kame's astonishment is palpable.

"You came all the way here to apologise? You shouldn't have. You must be tired to the bone.You could have texted me or..."

"Who said anything about apologising, I'm just setting the facts straights. And anyway, I don't have your number."

"Ah. Okay. Well, since you're here, wanna drink or eat something?"

"Sure." He's trying to be casual. He notices that Kame hasn't offered to give it to him. His number.

Kame himself seems to have not the least trouble being honest-to-goodness casual, after the initial surprise.

"Come in."

He is tired to the bone so maybe that's why he feels like he sleepwalks inside Kame's apartment.

He's never been inside. He's occasionally dropped Pi or Jin off here but he always pretended he was too busy to come up for a minute or what, even when he wasn't.

It's nice.

It's nothing special.

It's just a nice place.

He can sense it in the air, how it's a home to Kame, how he comes back here and takes off his shoes and scarf and then kicks back and becomes a real person.

"What'll you have?"

"Ah. Beer? If you have any."

"One beer coming up."

Kame bends inside the fridge.

His soft grey T-Shirt answers gravity's reverse call.

Reveal.

A waist like that is illegal on a guy.

It's probably illegal even on a girl.

Ryo won't be calling the cops, though.

They would never get here in time.

His feeling of impending doom tells him that much.

"Know what?" Kame asks.

He's taken out a water bottle for himself and, this is definitely home to him, instead of sitting down at the table like Ryo, he's up on the counter, a knee nonchalantly bent up there and toes dangling distractedly into the air. Front cover of Healthy Yet Egdy Living Magazine.

"What?" Ryo's throat is constricted and he doesn't know why.

"Bear in mind, I've had ample time to weigh the pros and the cons of this since this afternoon, ok."

"What?" Ryo says slightly snappily. He's scared, and not afraid to admit it now. At least to himself.

"I still wanna a cigarette."

He wasn't expecting that.

He's not sure what he was expecting, but it wasn't that.

He gets up and goes over and gives Kame one.

He also hands him the lighter because he hates clichés.

Of course it doesn't help that his hand trembles slightly with exhaustion just now.

Kame lights the cigarette up and takes a puff.

He inhales and closes his eyes and there it is, that happy-with-life look, as the smoke fills the air on his exhale. He doesn't look like any magazine cover suddenly.

He's just himself.

"I'm gonna go now." Ryo says. He doesn't move, however.

Kame opens his eyes.

Their stares lock. For a second it looks like Kame's gonna protest, argue with him to finish his beer at least, invite him to stay for dinner maybe.

But then Kame just nods.

He slides down the countertop in order to see his uninvited guest to the door.

Ryo feels a little angry and also disappointed.

Kame's initiated this earlier this afternoon, totally, but now Ryo feels like he's struggling on his lonely own.

He's back in the hall in a flash, he's put his jacket on again, his shoes on but he can't seem to find his usual venomous veneer anywhere for a proper acerbic parting shot. He's got his hand on the doorknob. He doesn't want to leave the cocoon of Kame's apartment.

He likes the way it smells in here.

Suddenly he knows what he has to do in order to stay.

Of course.

This is how the script goes.

He turns around and in another second he's pushed Kame against the wall and is kissing him aggressively. Yeah sex is the only excuse he was able to come up with in order to remain in this Kame-made haven a little while longer. But okay, okay he'll admit it. Sex with kame isn't exactly going to be a sacrifice.

Initially Kame doesn't answer his brutal kisses in any way. It's like he's stunned. And then Ryo senses his hands sneaking up his back. They massage his shoulders, slowly, and Ryo realises all of a sudden they're full of tension knots. The pressure forces him to lift his face away from Kame's a little and breathe in.

Kame doesn't relent, he keeps slowly rubbing Ryo's tense muscles. His fingers creep up to his neck and as they tentatively press into his nape, the awakened tension there fucking zings.

Kame massages gently, on and on.

Ryo mmmms mindlessly with an equal mix of pain and relief against Kame's mouth, occasionally, when he can't hold it in anymore.

Kame's tongue darts out sometime, probably just to lick his own lips, but they wet Ryo's whilst doing that, giving him a little electric shock.

Which is when he remembers this is supposed to be wild spontaneous sex and not Relief 101.

He pecks at Kame's lips a little absentmindedly.

Kame smiles against his mouth.

"It's okay. You don't have to do anything. Just relax." He murmurs. "Fuck you're tense" He whispers as his fingers sneak into his Ryo's hair.

"Ah. I. Ah. I feel like shit." Ryo mumbles the confession brokenly.

Kame doesn't answer anything, he just keeps silently caressing his scalp and Ryo feels so grateful he could cry.

He burrows his face inside Kame's shoulder because he's gonna.

God.

He can't cry in front of Kame, on Kame.

This is bad enough as it is.

To distract himself and avoid the flood of threatening tears, Ryo suckles the side of kame's neck.

Kame's skin tastes of ...

Of...

Ryo can't quite determine what so he suckles the hot yummy human elasticity of Kame's neck a little harder to try and get it.

Oh.

Vitality.

It's what Kame's skin tastes like.

It's a taste Ryo's almost forgotten.

He bites into it.

Kame gasps.

"I said it's okay. I understand. Ryo... You don't have to do that." He denies but his voice sounds pretty horny anyway.

Ryo chuckles and then he's actually fucking bawling.

Kame's shapely arms enfold him.

"You need to get some sleep before you get some." Kame scolds Ryo tenderly, like they're an old couple and being all concerned about Ryo now comes naturally to him.

The sobs are racking Ryo's reed thin frame. He can't remember the last time he cried this unabashed, loud, undignified way, like some heartbroken kid whose puppy just got run over by a car right before his very eyes. Actually, he feels like the fucking puppy. He's gonna feel excruciatingly uncool about this whole sorry interlude in his irrepressible rise to stardom in the very near future, he has no doubt, but right now this is such an extraordinary relief.

He grips Kame like the boy's his lifebuoy.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Thanks."

"Anytime." Kame shrugs carefully casual. He doesn't quite meet his eye. Ryo can tell he means that, though. He can come back here. If he can just come back here from time to time, everything else should be okay. He doesn't quite know why it is he believes that. But he suddenly wholeheartedly believes it.

"I'll take you up on that." Ryo is aware he sounds vaguely menacing but Kame doesn't seem to mind, really not.

He walks to the door almost swaggering but, decidedly, there's something which makes it hard for him to leave here because he turns and retraces his footsteps till he's standing mere inches away from Kame again.

"Not that last night wasn't nice: ruining your T Shirt and then hogging the bed and all, it was pretty cool. But I'd still like to have actual sex with you sometime."

Kame doesn't bat an eyelash.

"Anytime." He says softly.

Ryo can tell he means that too. He grins, he knows he looks like a total lovefool, but he only cares a very little right now, and he goes to the door again again again.

This time he's able to open it.

He goes out and closes it behind, easily.

Because now he knows he can be back anytime.

That he will be back.

Tomorrow even.

He strolls onto the street and immediately spots a paparazzo ambushed between two cars. He grins at him. "Morning!" he calls out. "Glorious day, isn't it?" The guy splits like a banana but Ryo's good mood holds steadfast notwithstanding. It's gonna take a lot to shatter this one. He optimistically breathes in a great gulp of polluted morning air, which makes him think to light up a cigarette.

He pats his jacket pocket and realises he's forgotten his lighter at Kame's.

He pauses on the pavement beside his car.

Then he turns on his heels.

He did say anytime.

He doesn't bother to knock at the door, and indeed, it's still open.

Kame's still standing in the hall, like it's all he intends to do today. He's sporting the daftest grin when Ryo re-enters.

It changes to puzzled panic at the sight of him but Ryo takes it in his stride, breezes past him, grabs the lighter upon the kitchen table and heads for the door again again again again.

Simply, he pauses for a second next to Kame on his way there, to apply that bye bye kiss he'd stupidly hesitated to administrate two minutes ago upon the nonplussed parted lips.

He feels Kame's intake of air and that was wholly worth it.

"See you tonight" he calls over his shoulder as he exits the apartment.

The best years of Nishikido Ryo's life now begin.

Phwoarevermore

Sat, 06 Jun 2009 19:38:24 GMT

Mr. Brain is really trying to fry mine. In the yummiest possible way. I mean. KIMUTAKU. KAME. GACKT. *smell of my brain frying yummily*

It could only get better if Ryo came and acted in Kame's episode (yes, I'll just call it Kame's episode, I'm that sure he's gonna own it). Or acted in Kame's episode and came. Even better. He could be Kame's patient. It'd be totally incredible! Sure. Like, he could be yet another too-young-to-die-insert-sobs-and-awards-here guy with a brain tumour and hot bod! Who divis his mommy. Whatever. I'm happy for you, Ryo, btw :).

The only way episode 3 could rock any harder was if Shah Rukh suddenly arrived in there and threw curtains open with maestria/came out of a helicopter/ breathed fire/ejaculated champagne, did anything at all. Cos' that's always a +. Shah Rukh doing anything.

And surely it couldn't hurt either if Amitabh Bachchan came out of a giant easter egg at some point.

I so wanted an excuse to post this video.

Now I fried your brain ^^ ne?

Ta-dah

Sat, 23 May 2009 19:20:33 GMT

Hiya:)!

Chapter N°27 of Hold Me,Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me is here. Yup that's a link to an especial hmtmkmkm LJ.

Please note that updates to hmtmkmkm will be at that LJ from now on. So if you actually friended here in order to follow that one specific fic, you might want to unfriend here and friend there instead :). This way you won't have to deal with my more random posts, you'll just get the hmtmkmkm ones. Hopefully this deals with that queasy feeling I've been getting when posting anything that wasn't strictly hmtmkmkm-related here at this journal ^____^.

Also why have fun with one layout when you can have fun with two? Or several. So I got The Fisherman & the Princess of The Insects an LJ too.

Perhaps these moves will help me feel more at home here? Enable me to be a better friend to my friends :)))! I say this, but the truth is my communication skills have been plummeting terribly. And they were never anything to boast about :(. So.

Probably has to do with the fact that I have to communicate an awful lot in my job nowadays. I'm not used to this. It's like I overdose on human communication everyday and the second I'm done working for the day, why, hello Catatonia, shall we spend this evening together too? Sure. Yes, even on the web. If anybody notices that the option to comment on fics etc. is gone, btw, this is why : I feel awful leaving the option to comment when I take ages answering and then when I eventually do answer, it is something bland and stupid ^^""". Plus I suspect most people find it a hassle being made to feel like they should comment when they just want to read a bit of stuff. Oh, I know I used to be a comment whore but not anymore, ne ;p. What I'll try to do is leave comments on my friends' pages instead, if I manage to muster things a little worth saying.

Er. Ah. So yeah. I forget where I was going with this, see what I mean?

I hope you enjoy your hassle-free version of hmtmkmkm <3!

:-*

Worry, Ryo.

Tue, 12 May 2009 19:16:45 GMT

I like my username everyday...

It started out as a fantasy but this fanvid by ljdarya (to Lady Gaga's Paparazzi) takes said fantasy one step closer to yes.

Don't mind me and my nonsense sentences. I guess I feel a bit disorientated to be actively shipping a pairing other than RyoKame. But it's disorientating in a good way XD. Omg Ryo, you better butt in quick before either Kame gets stolen from you by the other whichever Kame. *copiously pours nosebleed sauce on KameRyoKame sandwich sex*. I warned you. Nonsense sentences.

Thanks to diac for sharing heaven with me, ne *molestation ongoing*

Oh and apparently Lady Gaga has this talent for inspiring fabulousness like that : this next fabulousness was forwarded to me by sevenswells because that's just what she does in the midst of exams, forward fabulousness to her friends :)))

Did I dream it or did Johnny Weir just write "NC-17 ME NOW !" with his skates on the ice at the end of that figure?

He totally did.

And I totally wanna.

Plus he's a Russophile. How sexy is that? I wanna be a Russophile too. Russia rocks <3.

*discoball of a brain suddenly explodes*

Omg Ryo you should totally take up figure skating as your next lifestyle change challenge what? We know you can handle the gay and glittery costume part with panache already. And that you dig jumping.

That is by far the bestest idea my brain has ever produced, so if you snort Ryo, I shall tell you what I think of your serenading skills. For

reals.

Good boy. Put on your skates. Now jump!

A playlist to primp to

Sat, 02 May 2009 11:02:03 GMT

This is what happens when unbelievably patient sevenswells indulges my overenthusiasm for music.

She and I were chatting (I was babbling) (as usual ;_;) about la la las, then somehow it turned to la la las in relation to Storm in a Bathtub and the idea of a playlist that Kame would listen to while he gets ready before dates like in teh fic popped up. And then ever sweet sevenswells said yay! and then I got really really really excited and went ~~crazy~~ and had lots of fun :D. I know this is probably a bunch of boring to anyone who isn't sevenswells (It's ok, I only mentioned your username 4 times so far, sevenswells ^_^""), but at least it isn't in 5FIVE5 posts and the playlist is under the cut like an obedient child ;p.

I hope everybody's having a nice weekend and with any luck the playlist can maybe keep you company if you're going for a fun night out and primping à la what I imagine is Kame's way ^___^ <3

One-Shot : Storm In a Bathtub / Omake, is it?

Sat, 25 Apr 2009 09:40:35 GMT

Title : Storm In a Bathtub
Pairing : Does a pairing by the name of RyoKame ring a bell ^_________________^""""?
Is this what they call an OMAKE?
A/N : Looks at LJ page. *LE GASP* This is beyond spammage. Unfriend me now T_T. Maybe I'll private the later ones now and unprivate them one by one? *muttering to self in shame* EDIT : Well, unleashing the thing in one weekend was still pretty spammy in the end, so let me apologise again again ^__^"" (I don't really know when next I'll be online so I went ahead. But I'm sorry). But there, it's over now, and although I'm likely to make horrific mistakes again in the future when I post, I'll try not to make this one, ne!!! Thank you for bearing with me<3

“Lemmegetthisstraight” Kame choked on his carrot stick.

He sounded a little stern. But that was because his official boyfriend honestly wanted scolding sometimes. Like now. “You were in fact the one to leak us as an item to your entourage?”

Ryo threw him a glance entirely devoid of guilt, scratched his naked chest with an elegantly lazy finger, picked a pepperoni slice from the mixed and matched pizza carton they’d (Ryo. Kame’d wanted ramen but he had been over ruled. Make that capsized. By Ryo’s pleading-in-favour-of-pizza’s puppy eyes. Hence the pre-packaged carrot sticks. Oh well, he’d been meaning to lose a hundred grams anyway) and spoke while chewing loudly, his eyes engrossed in the movie he’d insisted on choosing tonight because he had much better taste in movies, duh (Hah! John Q? At least Kame’s mush was unabashed).

Kame swallowed his bite of carrot.

His official boyfriend was kind of an egoistical, egotistical slob.

Ryo took an over generous swig out of his can of beer, and then had to suddenly throw his head back in order to swallow all of it (and even so a drop or two found the plush off-white cushion Kame had just purchased).

His throat rippled in profile as Kame watched.

Sexiest egoistical, egotistical slob ever.

“Sure. I told Kusano some time ago. He was having one of his little fangirling fits just because KAT-TUN and specifically K, a.k.a you were in the adjoining changing room to ours. I had to let him know. I mean, do you know how annoying that is, when he does that?” He said accusingly, taking his eyes off the screen a second to convey to Kame that he was actually the sole cause of these irritating trials.

Kame didn’t know, he thought Notti was cute if excessive and of course he couldn’t but feel flattered by the kid’s unabashed adoration. And also he failed to see the immediate link between Kusano fangirling him and Ryo telling a changing room full of NEWS the news. And, oh my God, Kame calculated quickly, if he remembered correctly, that show where KAT-TUN and NEWS had last been on the same setlist had occurred the day after his and Ryo’s first date.

Yes, they’d done it first time around.

So, he was slutty. Well, at least he didn’t kiss and tell he thought faintly.

“So it doesn’t bug you, then, having people know.” He concluded stupidly. He was still processing the whole series of events which had led to Nishikido Ryo suddenly becoming his honest to goodness sexy slob of a boyfriend.

“If you mean had I rather tell everybody straight up that we’re a couple rather than wear matching pinky rings, that’s a definite yes.” His official boyfriend scoffed succinctly.

This time he didn’t take his eyes off the screen.

But something about the way he said it made Kame suspect he wasn’t thinking about the movie’s plot right now, but probably plotting many a murder of his own.

Note to self : Spell it out to Ryo that the pinky rings thing with Jin had been a p.u.b.l.i.c.i.t.y p.l.o.y, okay.

Eventually.

Because green-eyed Ryo did deprecatingly romantic marvelously well, Kame decided.

He put his carrot stick down on the tray, bent sideways a bit and pressed a kiss to Ryo’s slightly greasy lips.

Ugh.

He hated pepperoni.

But nevermind that.

Even pepperoni could taste of happiness, off of the right lips.

Kame lay his head upon Ryo’s lap and peered up at his face from this unfamiliar angle.

Boyfriend was still looking with unwonted (Kame thought) concentration at the screen.

Was he pretending to ignore him after he’d let that cute little remark about the pinky rings escape or what?

But he couldn’t ignore him for very long, Kame made sure of that, fidgeting non-stop in his lap as sirens wailed out of the TV.

And wailed.

Or maybe he could.

Add pig-headed to Ryo’s many delights as a boyfriend.

Kame sighed philosophically, giving up on it, and ironically that got him the attention he’d been coveting.

Ryo looked down at his face with his patented what the fuck now Kame look.

Fast, Kame smiled up disarmingly (he hoped) at him.

Miracle.

It worked.

“What?” Ryo asked with unexpected gentleness.

With his index, he got to caressing the curve of Kame’s nose.

Even if he obtained nothing more tonight, Kame was awesomely pleased at just having disarmed his difficult boyfriend a little now.

But he might as well try for more.

“Think that innocent instrumentalized child could wait just a while longer to be unlawfully but very movingly maybe rescued from his otherwise certain death by his really controversial but undeniably admirable daddy?” Ryo’s eyes widened with surprise at this little überjaded speech. His eyebrows shot up. “Well,” Kame finished “the moral dilemmas aren’t going anywhere.”

“What do you know about morality?” Ryo said severely, ready to defend the movie to the bitter end because he’d made such a show of wanting to watch it. “You suck.” He dished out this irrefutable argument and tapped Kame’s nose with great cinephilic finality.

“Mmm, not a whole lot.” Kame acquiesced good-humouredly. “And sure, I do” He went on to admit softly. Eyes riveted to Ryo’s, he seized hold of the index and proceeded to demonstrate this.

With his head on Ryo’s lap like this, it would have been hard to miss Ryo’s reaction to his argument through the thin fabric of his boxers.

Kame took the finger out of his mouth.

“Stop?” He suggested sweetly.

“Cocktease” Ryo blurted out.

Kame had meant the movie, but Ryo’s mind wasn’t on the movie anymore it seemed.

“Wait until you see how true that is.” He whispered. And, after hitting the pause button on the remote, he slid to the floor, on his knees, before Ryo. Hooking his fingers into his boxers, he rid him of his sole article of clothing and set out to prove his adored boyfriend right.

“Baby. Don’t stop. Don’t, yes. Oh yeah. Yeah. Oh baby. ” Ryo uttered over and over again, mixing up the order of the words, but the essence of the message was unmistakable .

Moral dilemmas and the like could clearly wait.

(Split) One-Shot : Storm In a Bathtub / 4

Sat, 25 Apr 2009 09:20:28 GMT

Title : Storm In a Bathtub
Itsy bitsy : 4 (just an omake after this and then that's it ^^)
Pairing : Ryokame, lovely.
Rating : NC-17 (lingering)

Ryo hadn’t said anything in a while.

The last thing Kame remembered him uttering hadn’t made any sort of sense.

Kame smiled a little, remembering.

They were back inside the tub now, it had been to wash the soap and everything off originally but then once that done, once Kame’d even shampooed Ryo’s hair like he’d requested cutely by just handing him the shampoo bottle and presenting his bare back to him, head lolling backwards onto his neck, über relaxed, they’d stayed in the warmth of the water and of each other.

It was so fucking snug in here, especially since Ryo had cuddled back into him like it was an old habit of theirs, something they’d done a few thousand times at least, before.

Kame loved this new habit with the old feel.

He hated the thought of interrupting it.

He honestly never wanted to ever mention the subject of their unwilling starring participation in the gay grapevine.

It seemed so far-removed from them right now.

So unimportant.

Maybe it could wait until tomorrow.

He’d meant to wait until tomorrow to worry about it, about anything, earlier (hah!).

But Ryo had a right to know, right, even if, in all probability, it’d zap him out of his chilled to the max mood.

Yeah he owed it to Ryo to warn him what people were saying, before it got back to him some other way, stimulating his mean streak, and Ryo killed a relatively innocent person and ended up behind the bars, no, he wasn’t letting himself get distracted by the idea of Ryo in a convict’s uniform, looking mean and dangerous.

He was doing this.

“Erm.” Kame began regretfully breaking the silence.

It wasn’t an auspicious beginning.

He tried again.

“Erm. So, er, are we, you and I, you know, are we actually going out?”

Which wasn’t how he had intended to phrase it at all, indeed, it wasn’t the delicate subject he ought to be attempting to broach, the vicious gay grapevine was that.

Except this was what he really truly wanted to know deep down, wasn’t it? Yeah, he could care less about the speculations of the gay grapevine. They only affected him in so far as they might affect Ryo.

Ryo’s attitude towards him.

Ryo’s feelings for him.

If these existed.

Whether they existed.

The fact of what they were or weren’t to each other, that was the only real question which preoccupied Kame, if he were honest with himself.

If he were honest with Ryo.

“Out? Nah, definitely not” Ryo said languidly, missing the point rather perversely, frustrating his fumbling attempt at honesty right away. “We can order pizza to be delivered or something. I say we just stay right here where you can pamper yourself all you want and pander to my whims all I want.”

Kame couldn’t see his face but he could hear the giant grin in his intonation.

His heart sank to the bottom of the tub, letting up a bubble or two on its way down, and then began to asphyxiate quietly.

He asked again doggedly, into Ryo’s wet hair smelling strangely like his own, because now he’d begun he might as well go on, he might as well know.

He must.

“I didn’t mean that.” Ryo shifted against him, ill at ease. He’d have caught the, uh-oh, something off in Kame’s tone. “I meant: are we officially dating. Or what. You know.” He tried to keep his voice light but instead it sounded like this dull toll ringing the death of their non?relationship.

Ryo groaned.

Kame couldn’t believe the bastard.

He shut his eyes because just looking at the back of this dark head, knowing for sure the simple possibility of being serious about him had never crossed the mind within, it hurt.

“I guess I want to know where we stand.” He twisted the knife inside himself all the way all the way, hail harakiri. He might as well have said ‘stood.’ God. Good. His voice was okay, considering.

Considering Ryo had just groaned again like he was in pain.

Or like Kame was a pain in the neck or something.

Ryo sat up and twisted round brusquely. Wow, his face even bore a pained expression. Kame could see how none of this boded well, at all, but now he’d made his bed and he was going to lie in it. And yeah, probably cry himself to sleep tonight.

But at least he’d know.

“Why’re we suddenly discussing awkward as fuck stuff?” Ryo asked, baldly.

“Well. Koki dropped me off this afternoon.” Kame began a bit dumbly, wondering if there was a good way of breaking this little titbit and stalling while he tried to find it.

Obviously he wasn’t apt at being honest.

“So?” Ryo interjected aggressively.

Kame’s mind boggled at that. Ryo hadn’t even heard the bad part and he already sounded majorly pissed off.

He might as well face it: there was going to be no good way to break it to him.

“So he mentioned how you and I are the N° 1 item of the Rainbowrama this week. We’re sprawled all over the Jyannis grapevine. We’re gay gossip of the moment. ” He elaborated as levelly as he was able to.

He sounded slightly hysterical.

“Oh” Ryo said. He didn’t sound as surprised as Kame had presumed he’d be. It must be shock. He pondered this grand revelation three seconds, tops. Then: “Do you mind?” He enquired. He sounded oddly cryptic.

Why was he acting fucking oblique, of all ways to react? It left Kame feeling bereft because that was his prerogative normally, being oblique. If Ryo stole his psychological patterns then what was left him to cope with this emotional storm in a bathtub?
“I dunno. Do you?” Kame was getting fucking defensive and angry too. The hurt he saved for later. He suspected he’d be having plenty of lonely nights to grapple and grapple with it.

“I said, do you?” Ryo challenged again demandingly and this was more like it, like him, but Kame, he, was still at a loss how to act now he’d set the ball rolling on this impulse he was regretting so much already. He should have known: Kame hadn’t been born to be impulsive, he was no Jin, no Uchi, no nobody fun. He’d been born programmed to be compulsively self-controlled and occasionally fucked and that was godamn it.

He didn’t know where he got off thinking Ryo might maybe have been looking at something more than that with him.

Seen something more.

Whatever.

He was out on an uncharacteristic limb anyway. He might as well go all the way and jump off the fucking cliff at the end.

“I don’t fucking care either way. I just want to know how you feel about it. About us. About me.”

There, he’d said it.

He’d alienated Ryo forever.

He was a fool.

Make that a lonely fool, starting now.

He wasn’t even going to get occasional succulent sex sessions now.

He could be compulsively self-controlled, period.

Well, later.

Because, to his horror, Kame felt like he might be going to cry now.

Ryo must have noticed. He wouldn’t even look him in the eye anymore, and that was his thing normally, making you weak with the intensity of his supersable stare. But not anymore. Now he looked down at the distorted watery image of their legs. They looked interwoven, but Kame knew they weren’t. It was all just an illusion.

They probably wouldn’t ever be truly interwoven anymore.

Ryo wasn’t even bothering to bite his head off or be demeaning or something.

He wasn’t interested.

It was over.

Ryo twisted back around, he was going to up and leave, he’d step on his heart and crush it to a pulp on the way out, Kame knew it.

He just reclined right back into him like earlier, though.

Well, at least this way, Kame thought unclearly, it wouldn’t matter overmuch if he did cry.

Ryo’s locks, wet and soft brushed lightly against his cheek and he had to really resist the urge to raise a hand and run his fingers tenderly through them.

He had ridiculed himself quite enough, thank you.

In the thick silence which followed, Kame pondered disconsolately how pathetic unrequited love was.

After a moment, he heard and felt Ryo take in a great breath. When he spoke the volume of his voice came out weirdly low compared to what he’d expected based on that breath:

“You know how I feel.” Ryo mumbled.

Kame lifted a shoulder helplessly causing Ryo’s temple to bump gently against his chin but, no matter, this situation couldn’t get any more awkward.

“We’ve never discussed it properly before.” He said fucking forlornly.

“That’s because we’ve got better things to do than discuss stuff.” Ryo said. He sounded like he was being skinned alive.

Kame said nothing.

He was wondering whether he might drown himself right here in his bathtub, after Nishikido Ryo, no shit, how had this happened, was done actually taking pity on him and had left forever.

Except Ryo wasn’t quite done.

He mumbled on, barely audible.

“But since you insist on having me spell out the obvious, of course I like you. I mean, duh.”

Duh?

“And of course we’re officially dating. You know we are. I mean what else did you fucking think we were doing all this time, huh?”

“Oh.” Kame breathed out into Ryo’s glistening locks.

He would have breathed out this ‘oh’ disbelievingly, he wouldn’t have dared believe a word of what he was suddenly hearing.

Except that ‘duh’, it sort of made everything fall into place. It sounded so… unromantic. So Ryo. It reminded Kame exactly how unlike Ryo it would be to take pity on anybody. He just … wouldn’t. And certainly, Nishikido Ryo would never push charity this far, to the point of motherfucking confessing oh my God fuck me pinch me, Kame thought faintly.

Still. “Like, exclusively and everything?” Kame preferred to ask obsessively-compulsively. He wanted no margin for mistakes anywhere on this. Only absolute certainty would do now.

“Of course, exclusively.” Ryo sounded so offended by the notion that it might have been otherwise that Kame giggled a little tearfully which was when he realized tears had begun trickling down his face sometime.

He swiped at his eyes with a soapy hand quick in case Ryo should turn around and see, silly, that stung, ha ha, it didn’t matter.

His heart had left the bottom of the tub and begun to swim excitedly upwards, ponyo ponyo, ponyo sakana no ko! style, like it was going to jump for joy out of the water.

Ryo did turn around abruptly, but he hardly noticed Kame’s tears upon his wet face, he had other things on his mind.

“What, haven’t you been being exclusive?” He asked edgily, like it was an unthinkable thought which had only just occurred to him and which needed clarifiying.

Pronto.

“Oh I have,” Kame reassured him quickly.

The set of Ryo’s shoulders loosened visibly.

“I could have not been though,” Kame countered suddenly stubborn, not wanting Ryo to take him too much for granted, especially because he totally could, ”since we hadn’t said anything.”

“Like fuck you could have” Ryo sputtered darkly, nearly choking on his indignation.

Kame kissed Ryo’s chin.

He was aiming for his sulky bottom lip but he slid on his own heart a little and then that’s where his lips ended up.

He wrapped his arms around Ryo’s neck and held on to him.

“Anyway, I haven’t. And now I know how, er, duh you feel for me, I won’t.” He teased. “So don’t worry.”

He aimed again and managed to hit that luscious, slightly protruding just now, bottom lip.

“I’m not worried” Ryo said worryingly grimly.

Kame sweetly smiled at his brand new glistening boyfriend.

Ryo blushed?

Kame wasn’t able to ascertain this with certainty, though, because he promptly turned around once more and dropped back against Kame’s chest and into their old habit in the making.

His head nestled into Kame’s shoulder comfortably.

In his elated mood, it amused Kame tremendously how he seemed to find it so much easier to let his back communicate with him.

Not that he minded.

He already loved their old habit in the making too.

He let his hands come up and comb Ryo’s locks, there was no need to resist his urges anymore, were there?

None.

Ryo mumbled some more, like an old Osakan sexy man.

“By the way, you haven’t said it.”

“It what?” Kame asked, surprised out of his newfound bliss.

“How should I know what you ought to say? I suck at this stuff.” Ryo considered a minute. “Say baby I love you. For example.” The invisible giant grin was back in his intonation.

Kame tugged on a lock gently. “Very funny, Mr Voyeur, Sir.”

Then he said it quickly before he could think about it and back out:

“Baby, I love you.”

It wasn’t hollered, of course, he said it in like a shush, sappily, inside Ryo’s ear.

And Ryo, arrogant fuck of a boyfriend that he was, softly replied:

“Duh.”

(Split) One-Shot : Storm In a Bathtub / 3

Sat, 25 Apr 2009 09:07:10 GMT

Ahem. Here a-spammin' we go!

Title : Storm In a Bathtub
Itsy bitsy : 3
Pairing : RyoKame, my loves.
Rating : NC-17

Early.

Yes!

Ryo’d simply snubbed Nino and Erika’s friendly attempts at after work hours socializing (these guys apparently had no life) and sped all the way here. He was so going to get into trouble one of these days; the way he was always speeding and taking unwise shortcuts all, although unbeknownst to him, because of Kame’s compulsive approach to punctuality. Okay and Ryo’s compulsive need to be in Kame’s good book lately.

But here he was, a quarter of an hour early, and feeling fucking triumphant.

He had been going to ring Kame’s bell when he noticed the door was ajar.

Expecting him, was he?

He pushed the door wide open and strolled in, liking how familiar the apartment was starting to feel to him.

From the entrance hall he heard the maître des lieux’s voice, blasting at full volume.

It came from the bathroom.

“Say my name, say my name!” Hollered the characteristic voice over splashing sounds. The latter were possibly meant to provide the rhythm section.

Ryo’s mouth stretched into a goofy grin.

Mmm. Maybe Kame wasn’t expecting him quite yet. But he wouldn’t say he were early after all. He’d say he was right on time to hijack in on the fun.

“Say my name say my name!” Out of sight, Kame splashed on enthusiastically. Apparently those lyrics were the only ones he knew out of the whole stupid song.

Sneakers off, Ryo sidled up to the bathroom door.

He paused next to it.

He considered how best to operate next. Two things: he estimated he’d need to peep in very quietly at first in order to see the tableau he foresaw awaited him in all its splendor and, secondly, he’d have to step in fast, solo rescue squad style, to prevent Kame from drowning out of embarrassment. Ryo had little doubt that he would once he realized who was, hellooo sexy squeaker, there early.

He lifted a foot.

“Say baby I love you” The voice bellowed just then and it prompted him to put that foot back down rapidly and lean back against the wall.

Say baby I love you, he sang.

So. Kame did know further lyrics to the song. And this specific line made Ryo ridiculously nerve-riddled all at once, paralyzing him on the spot. The key word there being ‘ridiculously’ Ryo reminded himself.

Unsuccessfully.

Come on, there was no way Kame could have guessed he thought of him as baby every once in a blue moon.

Or that he’d been racking his brain trying to find a way to get the second part of that daft line across to him. Getting it across without actually ever having to come right out and say it in so many words, what?, of course not, he was merely in love with Kamenashi Kazuya, he wasn’t out of his fucking mind.

I, Love and You?

The words might each appear inoffensive, separately. But he was not fooled: put together they hid enormous potential for embarrassing oneself. Ryo wasn’t about to waste his saliva and endanger his ego, especially not when said ego had been thriving so gloriously recently. So, he skimped on Baby I love you blah blah. But hey, he was generous to a fault with the giving of orgasms, so it all worked out fine in the end. Kame was into Reason anyhow. Probably, if he knew, he’d approve of the much more mature (hidden) agenda Ryo had arrived to regarding this small matter:

Much more mature (hidden) agenda: inform Kame non-verbally that he loved him.

And thus secure him as his boyfriend (preferably forfuckingever).

Incidentally fending off all those fuckers hovering ‘kindly’ around his Kame, all the Kokis and Nakamarus and Nottis of this world.

Kame was his okay.

Not that they stood a chance against motherfucking him.

They probably only bugged him so much because that’s what they were.

Bugs.

Blissfully unaware of the tempest of ridiculous feelings he’d just caused out in the corridor, Kame launched into an impressive series of vocalizes à la Beyonce.

Oh boy.

Ryo bit his bottom lip not to explode into laughter.

He felt instantly better: his ears might be bleeding a little, but he welcomed the diversion.

And when Kame attacked the chorus this time, Ryo was ready.

He pushed his secret agenda out of his mind for the time being, stepped inside the doorframe and savoured everything: the vapour, the bubbles, the feet flapping in and out of water like a pair of delighted dolphins.

The green faced creature yodeling at the top of its lungs, especially.

“Say my name say…”

Yodeling until it caught sight of him standing there, that was.

The yodels died into abrupt silence.

The green faced creature’s mouth formed an O.

Ryo knew his own mouth was full of astoundingly bright teeth (his mother’s N°1 pride and joy. The kitchen tiles she polished with a self-made formula came in second) which showed just now.

“Kame, right?” He reveled in saying his name. “Unless I’m mistaken.”

The incredible hunk attempted to un-O his mouth but it wouldn’t.

Ryo strutted through vapour and sat down on the bathtub’s ledge, his torso turned sideways so he might stare at Kame naked in froth all his fill.

The mouth got to working again.

“I am so going to duck now” Kame muttered miserably.

Ryo reached out to him.

“But you’re no duck. You’re a little turtle, aren’t you?”

He touched the tip of Kame’s nose with his finger, collecting green goo, and held it up for inspection.

“So is this part of some elaborate pre-meeting-me ritual?” He asked casually.

“Nope,” Kame certified far too repressively for it to be true, “just part of my usual skin care regimen.”

“Right.” Ryo’s grin was humongous and their date hadn’t even begun.

A small answering smile tugged at the tender green corners of Kame’s mouth timidly.

Knowing Kame got all psyched up about seeing him too, enough that he took especial pains with his appearance, made Ryo feel like a zillion dollars (upped from the usual million).

Plus he was pretty sure Kame was blushing bright red beneath the layer of green even now.

“How’s the water?” He drawled.

He didn’t wait for an answer, he plunged his hand down below to check.

His fingers brushed slippery skin.

The water was more than warm.

Kame swallowed, visibly.

His Adam’s apple was green too. It was unspeakably cute, watching it bob.

“I’ll, ah, get a move on.” Kame had a useless hand gesture and Ryo felt small droplets hit his face.

Hot.

“Oh, don’t. You take your time.” He conveniently omitted to mention the table he had reserved a week ago at that cozy Italian restaurant. He’d picked the place expressly for its intimate atmosphere, the feeling of expensive seclusion each paneled booth afforded. But now that he was here in the humid midst of Kame’s bathroom with this little dark eyed figure, its face the colour of hope, dressed in nothing but bubbles and peering up at him uncertainly, he could see it would be difficult to beat this impromptu occasion for intimacy.

“So what’re we doing…” Kame halted. Ryo was stroking the slippery skin underwater with the tip of his fingers. “What’re we doing…this evening?” He finished. He seemed to be having trouble concentrating.

“I dunno. Taking a bath together, for starters.” Ryo stood up and undertook to peel his clothes off before Kame’s suddenly no longer soself-conscious but, rather, engrossed eyes, as garments rained all over the tiles carelessly. Of course it wasn’t the first time he stripped in front of Kame. But the context made it seem like such a natural occurrence instead of a tantalizing event, like an everyday thing, like something they did all the time together.

He’d like that, Ryo realized.

Getting to see all the faces of Kame.

Being this close to one another always, like it was an evidence.

Naked.

He stepped into the tub and it was damn narrow; although he could tell Kame was giving him a most heartwarming welcome, making himself as small as he was able to, like he wasn’t already minuscule, folding himself over many times to make space for him.

Their limbs slid and squashed together as Ryo somehow angled himself in such a way as to be approximately balancing upon his arms and knees.

It was difficult to decipher Kame’s expressions beneath the mask, but his body, honest to a fault, let on he was aroused already just by the proximity.

So was Ryo.

His face was very very close to the tender green one now.

He stuck the tip of his tongue out aiming carefully for the opening between the parted lips opposite so as not to be swallowing any yucky goo, although it actually smelled pretty edible from this close up, the goo, fresh and sweet, like cucumber, which Ryo didn’t really like as a rule, but.

Yum.

Yeah, he hated cucumber sandwiches with a passion but cucumber kisses were something else.

He wouldn’t normally dip in straight away like that, he’d have some innocent fun, whatever tickled his fancy: he’d caress Kame’s peculiar bone structure with his knuckles, rub his nose into his neck, come back up and kiss him chastely on a cheek, once, twice, until Kame himself couldn’t help but seek out closer contact.

But maybe the mask was a blessing in disguise.

Kame’s tongue needed no coaxing under any form to draw it out now.

It met his in this frank fashion and it was kind of extremely exciting to skip playfulness and just straight away be in the heart of the matter, so to speak.

Apparently Kame shared this opinion.

Under water, his hands trailed purposefully in soapy liquid down the curve of Ryo’s back, to the small of it, where they didn’t pause but went on, to massage his buttocks. To press him closer.

Ryo’s precarious balance gave out easily enough and, oops, he was lying on top of Kame, unsupported.

His tender green lover let out this little oomph but Ryo was quite certain it wasn’t an oomph of pain.

They were now one muddle of skinny limbs and smooth flesh squeezed in much too tiny a space.

Ryo’s hand still somehow managed to find a little space in the lack of it, to glide around under until it found what it wanted.

In the natural motion he initiated of rubbing his cock with Kame’s, he forgot about gooey, yucky, beauty, masks, yeah, completely. Soon, eyes closed he was rubbing everything of his he could rub against Kame, each and every movement made wonderfully glib by the endless soap suds.

Kame’s hands slid everywhere over his body, as though he was trying to find somewhere not slippery to hold onto, but of course he wasn’t having any luck, so his hands just had to keep looking.

Their sighs were escalating in unison.

Becoming gasps.

Until Kame eventually panted inside his ear.

“It’s too tight a squeeze to… to…fuck. We should…”

“Yeah. Oh yeah.” Ryo agreed.

He knew exactly what Kame meant.

What he wanted.

In his haste to get out of the tub Ryo nearly broke a leg, then one of Kame’s, and then his own neck but in seconds he was.

Up.

It occurred to him maybe Kame’d want to rinse off first or something despairing like that and he waited.

But Kame’s eyes never left him as he stood there tensely, dripping onto the tiles, and he rose also, mutely out of the water, dripping green a little, but otherwise with no trace of hesitation anywhere.

Ryo extended his hands, holding Kame’s sinuous hips still to help steady him.

The second Kame hit vertical position and because he felt like showing off those extra hours at the gym, Ryo clasped them hands around his fascinatingly mini waist to hoist him up in his arms. Of course and as expected, Kame squealed and shouted and protested, put me down now, Ryo, we’ll slip, and so on and so forth. And sure they did, several times, but they didn’t fall, Ryo was not about to let Kame fall, at least not until they’d reached the bedroom proper.

Once there he did let him fall, backwards on the bed, yeah, maybe he should have been gentler but fuck he wasn’t altogether in control anymore by now, and no wonder.

Kame was a sight.

The goo lingered in unexpected places, making funny patterns like war paintings on his small impatient face.

It was funny how not at all frightful he looked like that.

Indeed, it would have made a strangely strikingly sexy photoshoot.

For Ryo.

This sudden notion of exclusivity filled him with unspeakable satisfaction.

Like he wasn’t already sufficiently turned on, Kame mindlessly licked at his own lips, probably tasting cucumber.

Ryo was bowled over by lust.

He leant in, crushing Kame beneath him –who would have thought?

He was acquiring a mad taste for cucumber kisses.

They got him so hot, he was even neglecting his usual favourite little spots, beaky nose and belly button and nano nipples.

There was one place he wasn’t forgetting though, quite the opposite.

In fact now, besides the kisses, it was all he could seem to focus on because Kame had wrapped his legs around his waist, giving him access all areas, including a near imperceptible opening he was so interested in.

In.

Yeah.

His cock was rubbing against it, hella unsatisfied.

Fuck, it must get in.

It was an urgent matter.

His deepening kisses sketched it all out roughly for Kame to figure out.

This invasion of Kame’s intimacy was what he wanted to mimick down there.

He sucked with words, but he couldn’t be clearer with his tongue if he had spoken, if he had said:

I want to fuck you.

And I’m gonna.

Now.

He was gonna.

Now. No…

No?

Huh?

What the fuck.

After acting so incredibly inciting Kame was actually trying to free himself from their enmeshment?

He was not gonna do a fucking volte face now.

No way.

He was? Kame struggled and wiggled like a right little cocktease, that’s what, and Ryo felt his temper, not only that, flare in response. But with this huge effort he released his hold on Kame, a little, drew back, just a bit, bit back angry words, because out of all the words those kind of words came easiest to him, words that made things worse and that wasn’t what he wanted. He wanted simple things, like sex, like, now. And he’d dearly like to know why wasn’t he getting it, fuck, why.

Kame, his face by now flushed as bright rosy as green, ignored his uncomprehending blazing eyes and rolled his upper body over to the side with difficulty, what, still attempting to escape?, no luck there, since Ryo was still holding his legs firmly into place with his own.

Twisted so, he stretched to open a drawer in the night-table, one which Ryo was quite familiar with.

It only occurred to him then.

Oh.

Right.

Christ.

“Sorry.” He grinned sheepishly as Kame’s stubby hand came back out with the, applause, lube.

He mentally banged his head on a wall. He didn’t mean to be selfish, fuck no, he needed Kame to enjoy this at least as much as he did.

At least.

It was just kind of logical to lose it whenever Kame was involved.

And Kame was nothing if not involved just now.

Without even acknowledging the apology, he was opening the cap with his impatient stubby fingers.

Ryo gently relieved him of the lube like a gentleman (if a little belatedly), and took matters into his own hands.

Kame did not resist.

Sloppily, generously, Ryo lathered the liquid onto his fingers.

His lover watched, riveted, as he did and Ryo felt like a porn star inside his hungry dark eyes.

Trust Kame to make all his fantasies come true.

Well, he was eager to return the favour.

He knelt above Kame’s shape, sprawled so expectantly as to be indecent, on the bed. Ever helpful, he even raised an agile leg and placed it upon Ryo’s shoulder, the other still hooked casually around his waist.

In comparison with him, Ryo thought, ticked, Kame, although transparently impatient, still seemed more in control.

All adult bent on having a good time or something.

He was staring Ryo x-ratedly straight in the eye.

But as Ryo, not to be outdone, returned the stare with undiluted Nishikido intent, his lashes flickered, just hinting at uncertainty.

Ryo prolonged the stare just to be sure and now Kame fucking floundered, that was all it took apparently to shake his little adult in control act, and he was even on the verge of being ashamed.

Vulnerable.

Yes.

Ryo smiled down x-ratedly at him.

Then, maintaining eye contact all the while, mouth dry, he slowly entered him with a slickened finger.

Kame’s lashes flickered one more time and then his eyelids closed.

His head rolled back.

He had this gesture, like he didn’t quite know what to do with his hands, like they wanted something to clench hard too, the same way that spot was closing in around Ryo’s finger, tight, and then they just clutched whatever they found, a jean, a coverspread.

Ryo pushed in deeper.

“Yes” Kame whispered with all the abandon in the world.

Christ, he.

Hot.

Suddenly, Ryo didn’t mind postponing pleasure a bit, playing around a little before going all out.

Gently, he eased another finger inside the small, sensitive opening obsessing him so, and was rewarded by this low, long mmmmmm Kame emitted, mouth shut tight and cute green apple of Adam moving up and down in his throat, his thrown back head thrashing upon some white garment there on the bed, messing it up, staining it green, not caring.

Nobly, Ryo ignored his own cock’s demands for the moment and used his other hand to attend to Kame’s throbbing cock, his gorged balls, easy did it, because baby was obviously this close to coming and knowing Kame he might be vexed if it happened to him only, and also before he even got properly fucked a little.

As he continued to caress Kame gently from within, stroking further and further, Ryo felt his fingers being sucked at more and more greedily, until he grazed, just, the ultimate pleasure zone.

And at that very second Kame’s hands came up, Kame himself half sat up in order to seize his shoulders, not gently, nope, nails were biting into his skin and baby was crying out, dark eyes wide open once more, imploring him to give it to him, now, hard, do him, Ryo, God.

Now.

His every gesture was a trigger.

Ryo brutally pinned him back down onto the bed, it seemed the only safe course of action to undertake now, he might be Nishikido Ryo but he was only human and Kame was totally uncharacteristically unreasonable to expect him to last any amount of time with him acting this fucking wanton.

And then he did exactly what he was asked for once, because Kame was doing the asking.

If Kame only knew, he couldn’t resist him.

So he did him, then.

Hard.

Ryo, God, didn’t hold back.

Okay, he couldn’t.

Ah, nevermind points of detail now.

Nothing beat this letting go feeling.

It felt so godamn great, Ryo orgasmed soon, almost straight away, yeah first, but thankfully baby followed suit a mere handful of seconds after, shouting out, starting to come almost anxiously in close spasms around him whilst Ryo shot sperm one last, mind numbingly good, time, inside, him.

No words because no words could say.

Kame was trembling beneath him.

Ryo felt pretty shaken up himself.

His face buried in the crook of the rounded shoulder, he smelled the cool scent of cucumber and underneath it, of baby.

Fucking lovely.

One-Shot : Storm In a Bathtub / 2

Sat, 25 Apr 2009 08:54:26 GMT

Title : Storm In a Bathtub
Itsy bitsy : 2
Pairing : RyoKame, my loves.
Rating : NC-17 (it's gonna get)

“Da di doo doo!” Kame hummed happily.

In the delicious privacy of his home, he need not worry about tune or pitch or delivery or anything.

He could squeak atrociously.

So he did.

On purpose.

Awesome.

He hardly dared believe he was getting one whole invaluable hour (minus 5 minutes now) in which to preen for tonight’s date. He’d thought he’d have to squeeze in the usual sprintscrub shower, slapdashing of lotion, perfunctory perfume pschiiit, all of which were effective enough as to result since he had long ago divined techniques to beautify oneself beyond recognition in mere minutes - with seconds to spare; but, yup, ironically, taking pains to look his most ravishing was something usually reserved for total strangers. The occasional paramours which popped up in his private life must make do with the tired out wisp of a person remaining at the end of his day.

Which possibly explained why the paramours popped down into oblivion almost as soon as they popped up.

Kame didn’t think of Ryo as belonging to that endless string of impermanent paramours, though. He didn’t want Ryo to pop down anytime soon, not if he could help it.

And tonight he could help it.

He was lovingly laying out the outfit he’d just spent ten crucial minutes choosing ready on the bed.

He’d decided on effortlessly-cool-to-the-point-of-appearing-careless-chic, nothing too ornate, he didn’t want to attract too much attention, just in (the unlikely) case they ended up going somewhere somewhat public, but hey, he still definitely wanted to look unforgettably fabulous alright because he did want Ryo to keep paying attention. He didn’t want to bet on his conversation skills guaranteeing this, he was sad to have to say. He’d gotten a pretty good grip on his natural shyness ages ago, sure. He could chat up babies and grandmas and probably aliens should the occasion arise.

But the shyness tended to resurface full force around Ryo, inexplicably.

So, that beautifully cut white linen shirt which creased and crumpled so easily it always looked like he’d slept in it (he’d leave the first two buttons undone. It was hot today. Perhaps three. He’d see. Hopefully Ryo would too), his absolute favourite pair of threadbare vintage jeans (the sluttiness of the see-through patches, although as effectively revealing as, say, any deliberate modern-day low-swung swimming trunks, was toned down by the fact that Time itself had done this, so it wasn’t slutty okay, his skin just happened to show a lot).

Ah and he’d decide at the last minute, but he rather thought he might opt for his pearl grey flip flops to go with that (so easy to just flip flop off, no awkward pausing of action to untie shoelaces and the like, God, Ryo made him act as easy as his reputation and he didn’t fundamentally mind, he just hoped he wasn’t being too obvious).

Yeah, the pearl greys.

And then he could clasp his silver trinket around his ankle, like a subtle surprise to punctuate the act of undressing.

He didn’t think to question the fact that undressing there would be, not for one second.

They hadn’t been seeing each other all that long, but it had been long enough to establish a few things they had in common.

Like their love of sex.

The essential ‘selection of the outfit’ phase settled, Kame moved on to the bathroom. He still had time to run a bath, o wonder, as opposed to having a too quick shower. He let the water run, the sound of its steady trickle soothing his senses already, the resulting vapour beginning to cloud the mirror. He took off his clothes, folded them neatly and placed them on top of the pile in the orderly basket. He poured some Burberry bubble bath into the half-filled tub, that way it’d be a dream of foam when he got in.

He hummed on and hesitated in front of the by-now-fogged-up glass between his Cool Cucumber Cocooning Clinique mask (AMAZING for one’s complexion. Just. AMAZING) and the S.O.S Skin Saviour one (S.O.S stood for Scent Of Strawberry, girly, he knew, but it left one’s skin feeling so supremely soft, Kame wouldn’t have cared anyway if they’d called it Fermented Beans Bacteria Broil. Ah, he was totally lying. He was such a sucker for all the enticing literature on the beautiful bottles).

In the end he went with Clinique because there was probably such a thing as being too gay in Ryo’s opinion, except Kame wasn’t too sure where Ryo drew that line. It might be he drew it precisely between cucumber and strawberry.

His face green and tingling nicely, Kame dipped a toe inside the full to the brim bathtub and sighed profoundly.

He got in.

His body could hardly believe its luck.

He soaked.

He’d probably be a wrinkled little prune when he got out.

He loved the thought of being a little prune.

He wiggled his toes.

He giggled.

Life was super, sometimes.

He didn’t even want to ignore the thrills a-fluttering inside his stomach.

Ordinarily, Kame detested ante-dates anticipation.

It was all nerve wrecking enough to make him glad he hadn’t the time to luxuriously get ready.

But since he’d been seeing Ryo, he’d gotten to enjoying even those dreaded moments.

He liked wondering what to wear for example, then what Ryo would wear and when it’d all come off. In what manner. Yeah, it had never happened the same way twice with Ryo so far.

Kame eased his head onto the edge of the tub and closed his eyes, remembering, these last few dreamy weeks, and then, imagining, tonight.

Life.

Super.

( Split )One-Shot : Storm In a Bathtub / 1

Sat, 25 Apr 2009 08:42:25 GMT

Title : Storm In a Bathtub
Itsy bitsy : 1/5
Pairing : RyoKame, my loves.
Rating : NC-17 at some point. S.

Warnings : I suppose one or two persons might have already noticed I don’t stick to a strict timeframe when writing fic, because what is time, I dunno I’m no Eistein, you wouldn't believe how bad I am at relativity, you would huh, oh well. But I’m proud to say I have absolutely surpassed myself with this. *beams*
A/N: This is bad. Overdone and underwhelming, I know. But it's Ryoxkame, albeit rusty-person written, so I'm hoping to be forgiven ^________^ *invoking 69th amendment*.

Word Count (I don't usually mention it but this one grew and grew like a ~~teenage~~ mutant ~~ninja turtle~~ so I feel I ought to warn people before they embark on this) : around 8000 in all, wai. *scratches head* OK wait, actually because of this, I apparently need to split this up into several posts, LJ says it's too long O.o ~~and thick and hard~~. I'll probably try and post it all up in one go since I has access nows. Very SORRY about being a spamming pain in the neck ^_^".

ERM EDIT/NEWSFLASH! I'm retarded. Wait, that news is stale. But sadly current anyway. So the cutting up of this one-shot would still be coherent, I ended up making 5FIVE5 posts in one go. O.O. Fuck, what was I thinking, I wasn't. So then I started to agonise about this blatant lack of respect to your f-pages and then (in my now signature!move) I private-locked them all. T__________________________________________________________T

I'll be unlocking the private posts at decent intervals. Can you please a) FORGIVE MY FAIL. and b) pretend you never noticed a thing? Just a) is fine. You can b) bash me with bricks.

“Buh bye” Kame said affectionately but with a final ring to the word.

It had been adorable of Koki to drop him off on his own way home since they’d been dismissed from work unexpectedly early and he had his (outrageously customized ) car with him and it saved Kame’s having to wait a whole hour for his arranged other lift. But now Kame was half dreading having him invite himself up for a drink and a chat. Not that he didn’t enormously appreciate Koki’s comradely company.

He adored Koki.

He did.

But he had, uh, plans.

Nothing quite set in stone and not for another hour at least.

But still. He blushed at the mere thought of the evening awaiting. He wouldn’t be spitting on this unexpected chance to prepare awhile longer and make the evening extraspecial.

One guideline was pretty much predefined already, yeah.

“Lemme guess. Caliente night on your mind?” Koki grinned his griffon grin and Kame, realizing too late he’d zoned out in excited anticipation right there in the front seat of the Joker Car (as Koki liked to refer to it) felt silly exactly like when his little brother used to harass the hell out of him by going through his most intimate drawers. He briefly debated whether to deny everything, sunblock in Alaska style, but Koki: he didn’t really need bother to hide anything from Koki.

Koki was so genuinely kind as to be wholly benign.

So, he didn’t deny but he still didn’t say. He played the casual card anyway, because Kame couldn’t really help being compulsively private like that.

“Just a date.” He shrugged, opened the door and swung his legs out of the Joker Car. But before he could get up Koki laid a heavily bejeweled hand on his arm.

“You be careful okay. You know what I mean.”

Kame stifled a smile. He wasn’t actually entirely certain what Koki meant. His worried tone seemed to encompass so many wicked but undefined dangers. Sometimes Koki acted like his retarded little brother and then, without any warning, like now, he’d switch to mother hen mode. Koki was kinda like an instant family. Just as embarrassing and just as endearing.

“Quit worrying mom. You know you’ll totally enjoy it when I dump the tot at your place to babysit, anyway. He can sit on your lap while you remix and shit.” He couldn’t resist teasing as he bounced out.

“You think I know nothing, don’t you.” Mommy Koki countered, shaking a finger adorned with a golden skull out the open window at him. “But if you actually think Nishikido Ryo can get you pregnant, Kame, then mom here didn’t do such a good job of explaining the birds and bees to you.” He dropped that bomb mindlessly, his foot finding the route to his mouth like it was home and Kame’s face must have registered much, much more shock than Koki’d expected because, sporting an ‘oh shit’ expression, he immediately reached for his (bling bling studded) gear stick and backed out of the driveway. He stopped the car for a second and, scratching his blonde bonze hairdo, he called out from sideways, sounding exceedingly guiltily;

“Ah fuck, don’t look so small and surprised. It’s all over the gay grapevine.” And hastily zoomed away.

Why small? Kame frowned.

And it was?

Because Kame hadn’t mentioned it to a soul.

So…

He remained glued to the spot, trying to figure out how it had gotten out, even though he had known of course that it couldn’t have remained a secret for very long, well, supposing it was even going to last any length of time and he wasn’t supposing anything. He had been so careful not to have any expectations so far.

What bothered him above all else was, he didn’t think Ryo’d like people to know, about...

About what?

What was it they had, exactly?

Kame guessed that was the crux of the problem.

Koki’s car, reversing, came back into view and his friendly features had grown guiltier still in the short interval.

“Hey, I was just kidding okay. Of course it isn’t all over the gay grapevine or anything. It’s just, The Joker knows. Everything.”

The lame lie cracked Kame up, as it had visibly been intended to and Koki looked so relieved that Kame jogged to the car and snuggled his top half in through the open window of the passenger’s side to plant a firm kiss upon his cheek.

“I bet The Joker didn’t know I was gonna do that.” Kame chuckled at his bandmate’s nonplussed expression as he withdrew from the car. He crouched a little to remain within the window frame – the Joker car was low-set on its flashy wheels: “Thanks for caring. But really, Koki, quit worrying, will you? I can handle myself. And the gay grapevine. I can even handle Ryo.” He said it seriously, all of his own doubts buried, intent on putting his friend’s mind at rest.

He must have been pretty convincing, too.

Either that or The Joker humored him because he was just that great a guy.

“Okay.” Koki said and smiled in what he probably assumed was a mucho manly manner.

And off he went with a vroom.

It really didn’t seem right for Koki to be torturing himself over the state of his relationship with Ryo when he didn’t intend to do that himself, not in the least, he would not, Kame resolved as he climbed the stairs with a not in the least forced lilt in his step.

He meant to stick to the plan and have that caliente (he could cringe now. Koki actually said that. The Joker was fearless) evening.

He’d knot his brain into one big bow of worry tomorrow maybe.

Yeah, tonight the gay grapevine could just go jerk itself off silly.

The moral to the startling turtle fable is ___________________*

Wed, 08 Apr 2009 09:33:56 GMT

*Pretty prease to enlighten me with your own opinions in the chus section :D. I'm thinking maybe the pigeon was taunting him by saying stuff like 'you're so ugly you make my heart ache' which led to carnivorous sex which leads to the oral moral that It Is Always A Pleasure To See A Kame Eat. And have sex. And just do savage stuff. ~~I think I just implied that Ryo is a pigeon. A helpless pigeon. Well, at least when it comes to Kame. *Watches the floating feathers pondereplayderingly* Was. Was a pigeon.~~

La la laaa laaaaaaaaaa la.

Do you think about me now and then ^^?

Wed, 25 Mar 2009 16:28:28 GMT

Helloes,

but a small message to apologise for being so absent (in other words for being a failure of an LJ friend). I miss knowing what you guys are up to and I realise my answering of comments has been awfully messy. I am so sorry ;_; . So sorry. Thank you for still leaving the most uplifting comments :DDD. I hope you know if it were up to me I'd be pestering you nonstop in answer or not even in answer ^__________^. And I will. Soon I hope. Until I can, I do hope life's being grandiose for you. ilu ~~Ne.~~

Ah. And. Under the cut. Just a little ~~corny~~ playlist for someone extraodinarily specific.

Une petite playlist ^.^

Para ti.

Hai.

*hoche la tête*

</div>